


CronKri Drabbles

by dirkrika



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Humanstuck, Kissing, M/M, NSFW, Rule 63, Stupid Drabbles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-21
Updated: 2013-03-16
Packaged: 2017-11-19 04:10:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 21,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/568934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirkrika/pseuds/dirkrika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cronus/Kankri drabbles that I frequently post. I decided to collaborate them all together in one story. Or whatever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not Succeeding

It’s the little things that drive him up the walls. Like when you casually bury your face into the crook of his neck, and he’ll always blush that cute little red tinge of his and sputter out how rude it is to spontaneously start snuggling someone while they are preaching, er, talking. Or when he’d be talking to you while you’re both curled up together and he’d just fall asleep in mid-sentence. You’d kiss him on the temple and rest your head on his, not giving a damn about anything else but that moment.

He’s obnoxiously snooty, tends to get sassy on occasion while he’s talking to you, and likes to cock his hip when you do something stupid (which is often). He doesn’t realize how seductive that position makes him look, especially with his small, pouty lips that quirk in a small smirk.

Kankri swore that he would not convey in any form of sexual intercourse (his words, not yours), even with you. You’ve gotten so close before, though. You’ve gotten as far as getting his thick sweater off and that was that. He would never let you even touch his body. (“Honestly, why would you want to?”) But, oh god, do you desperately want to. You want to run your hands up and down his chest and his short legs. You want to kiss every inch of that stupid troll until you’ve got him completely wrapped around your goddamn finger. You want to know what he taste like and what he sounds like when you’re ravishing him.

But, unfortunately, the most you’ve gotten outta him was a small whine when you kissed his neck without permission. It still made your heart leap outta your chest and fall to the floor.

You’ve tried everything in your power to let Kankri see the light of letting you fuck him senseless. (“C’mon Kan, it ain’t that bad. It’s like having angels descend from the sky. It’s better than what you think it is. It’s fuckin’ ecstasy.”

“Cronus, I honestly don’t think you see my point here. Any form of sexual activity, whether it be making love or merely kissing, can be triggering to those like me who aren’t fond of any sort of ideas that crawl through perverted trolls’ like yours heads.”

“That’s hurtful.”

“Sorry.”)

Never once have any of your brilliant ideas worked. You once tried distracting him with kisses down his neck, thinking that it would get some sort of sexual reaction from him, but all he did was swat lightly on the shoulder and told you—nicely—to stop.

You’ve even asked him nicely before and given him your best dead, pleading eyes, but still, nothing.

That goddamnfucking troll is so stubborn and frankly, it’s too adorable for any words.

So, you guess, for right now, kissing occasionally and looking at his perfect ass when he’s not looking is good enough for you.


	2. Similarities

You like to deny it with a quick response of, “I am truly sorry, Latula, but you are horribly mistaken of what you are proposing to me. I, according to you, am quite similar to our dear comrade—not friend—Cronus Ampora. This is—beyond your belief—not true in any cases.” (Insert awkward chuckle here.) But, as much as you like to refuse to believe the absurd and triggering words that Latula likes to pick on you with, you and Cronus Ampora are nothing alike.

He smokes two packs of cigarettes a week, sometimes more, which is very life-threatening. You, on the other hand, would never even dream of doing such horrid acts of addiction. Not only with the smoking, but he hits on everything that breathes. Poor old Meenah can’t catch a single break when he’s around. He doesn’t like to make any moves on Porrim, however; he’s said numerous times that she frightens him. You don’t like “flirt” with people per say, or even want to establish any form of sexual relationship, which is something that Cronus desires. Meulin once asked you if you don’t want any relationship, and you simply replied, “I didn’t say anything about romantic relationships.” She just squealed and ran off.

But… the more that you stay up late, thinking about it, the more you come to realize that… _maybe_. Just… maybe are you both alike in some ways. Your failed attempts at romance… Your repetition to not be liked by others… And your loneliness.

And the more that you think about it, as you let him hold you in the way you always dreamed someone would hold you when you were a mere wriggler, maybe your similarities are what brings you together. And when he takes those small, breathless kisses from you, you think, _Huh, maybe Latula was right all along. Maybe we aren’t so different._

When he whispers words only meant for you into your ears, you think, _Maybe_. And when he kisses down your neck and all over your jaw and face, you can’t help but want more of his tobacco-tasting kisses. The more that he caresses your face and tells you that you’re perfect… you think, _Damn_.

And when he takes you for the first time, you can’t help but thank Latula in your mind.

Because your similarities are what brings you two outcasts together.

And maybe, you think, as Cronus holds you tight, that’s not a bad thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also posted to my tumblr:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	3. If I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tw: Suicide

_Sometimes, you just have to face the fact that life isn’t perfect._

_You just have to… grow up._

*

 I now know how people feel about me. They all think I’m stupid. That I’m worthless and pathetic, hiding behind my “morals” and “well-beings.” They call me a fool and laugh at my face, while I’m standing all alone in this God-forsaken world, broken and lost. They say that I’m childish for believing in something. They laugh at me. Even him. Even Cronus.

_It’s alright. They won’t have to worry about me much longer anyway._

I locked the door; Cronus has a key anyway. He doesn’t always need me to greet him. He doesn’t always need to kiss me on the cheek and ask how I have been. He doesn’t need to smile at me anymore; I know how he truly feels about me. All the smiles, the hugs, the kisses… everything. It was fake. It wasn’t meant for him, but someone else. It was just a joke. A… a _dare_.

*

His words were drunkenly slurred, and his head lolled back. “Hey Kan,” he greeted with a lazy grin. All of our other ‘friends’ were around the table, smiling and laughing. Meenah was playing a round against Latula, while Damara and Horuss both sat close to Rufioh. It was the same as it usually is on Friday nights; the group hang-out that I don’t like partaking in. I came along this time, late.

I scowled, shrugging my jacket closer to me. “You reek of beer.”

Cronus giggled. “And I wonder why.” He shook his nearly-empty bottle of beer, then tipped it forward, chugging it all down. He slammed it on the table and winked at Aranea. “How’s ‘bout another one for me and one for ‘m doll here.” He wrapped his arm around your waist and dragged you closer.

You grimaced and shook out of his grip. “No thank you,” you spat, glaring at the drink that was handed to Cronus.

“Shit, Crabkri, lighten up, will you?” Meenah cackled, chugging down some of the piss water. “It ain’t gonna krill ya.”

“Don’t wanna get ‘im drunk though,” Latula laughed. “He’s annoying enough as it is; who knows what he’s like when wasted.”

“Good point.”

The words stung, but I pretended to ignore them. “I don’t think I will be joining you for… beer.” I stuck out your tongue in disgust. “I’m not lewd and filthy.”

“Jesus,” Meenah groaned, tipping her head back. “No wonder no one likes you. You’re a total dead beat.”

I raised my eyebrow in curiosity. “Excuse me?”

She laughed. “No one likes you, assbutt. Get that through your mind. You’re so annoying and chattery. You’re a complete dickbag and are soooo condescending. Ugh, just thinking about you makes me wanna puke.” She made a gagging noise and laughed at something Mituna said.

I refused to cry. I’m not a child; I don’t need to cry out my problems. But as I saw Cronus laughing along with Meenah, I felt truly… alone.

“Aw, cheer up, Vantass. It’s not your fault your own boyfriend don’t like you,” Meenah slurred. Aranea gasped and slapped her upside the head. “Ow! Fucking—Oh, shit.”

I was too busy staring at Cronus, who was staring at Meenah with an angry, yet surprised face. I prayed that he would defend me; that he would say that he _does_ like me, and that the past two years have meant as much to him as it had for me.

But he didn’t.

“Cronus?” I squeaked weakly.

He looked down at his lap. “It was a dare. They dared me to ask you out.”

I took a step back. _What?_

His expression turned frantic. “But—But it don’t matter, Kan!” He stumbled over his words. “At first I didn’t feel nothing but then we… er… you know…”

I stopped breathing for a second before slipping out, “You only loved me for sex?”

“No… Kan—Kan, wait!”

But… I was gone.

*

I filled up the bathtub with water. It was coming out quickly, spraying against the sides. I stared at the water coming out the faucet. Every drop made my stomach churn, and the words came spilling through my mind.

_He only started dating you because of a dare. He never really liked you in the first place. It was all just a game for him… He took away your virginity without truly reciprocating your feelings. He kissed you and told you he loved you… It was all fake. Everything he said was a lie. Everything about your relationship was a lie!_

I turned off the faucet and stared into the water. I sighed and stepped into it. I made it a comfortable setting; I might as well die comfortably. But it felt cold… like ice.

_No one likes you. Your so called ‘friends’ can’t stand you. You’re worthless. Pathetic. What are you even trying to prove with your ‘morals’ and ‘hope?’ … There is no hope in this world._

I lied down, water covering my body.

I can’t breathe. It hurts to. There was a ringing in my ears, and that was all I could hear, along with more of my horrid thoughts.

_Cronus could never love a guy like you. You were always annoying him; you never truly made him happy. The smiles were pretend. The kisses and whispers at ungodly hours in the morning were pretend.  The small touches and gestures of and for affection were all just make-believe._

My vision went blurry.

_Now you’re dying._

Though, I can hear a banging noise coming from outside the locked bathroom.

_He won’t even care._

I almost grin. He’s home.

_No one will._

Shouts. Cries. Frantic, needy pleads to _god please Kan open this door right now I swear to fuck._

_It’s your fault you know._

Shout. Bang.

_It’s your fault for falling in love._

I closed my eyes and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also posted to:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	4. After School

_Cough._

You look up and smirk. Oh, it’s this guy again, all sweater vest and pocket protector. He’s got this fiery, angry look in his eyes like, _I’m going to start bitching now; hold onto your cigarette_. His hip is cocked to the side, making him look too sassy for comfort (and the hands on them don’t make it any better). But, his charming looks make up for it. Or, lack thereof.

“Cronus,” he spits out coldly. His arms are crossed and his bottom lip is jutted out like he’s the goddamn Queen. It just makes him look more… adorable than pissed, frankly.

You smirk. “Kankri.”

He tilts his chin up, sticking his nose into the air like a pompous asshole. “I would in fact appreciate it if you refrained from smoking on the school premises.” _Oh of_ course _. Mister “Student Council President” Vantas. So obviously that means I can boss people around and stuff then, right?_ He narrows his eyes. “And when Karkat is around.”

You raise an eyebrow. “I’m barely around the little fuckball.”

He flinches at your cursing, but keeps his posture. “Please do not call my younger brother that. He may  be three years our junior, but that does not give you the right to call him such derogatory names. Also, I’m not sure if you’re aware, but your brother happens to be friends with my brother. And Karkat tends to go over to your house more often than not. So smoking when he is around is not permitted.”

You snort and ruffle his hair, causing him to sputter angrily. “Well aren’t you just the cutest little ball of fuckery today. You’re too uptight, man. Just chill, relax. I promise not to smoke around your precious gem of a brother, alright?”

Kankri glares at you through his messed-up bangs. It makes him look like an angry kitten. Ah… eh, whatever. He scowls and says, “Don’t touch my hair, please. I’d rather not have it messed up and horrifying (like yours). And thank you. I’m sure Karkat will appreciate your concern.”

You chuckle, ignoring the comment about your hair. “I’m sure he will.”

Kankri nods and looks at his watch. He turns around and walks off.

You take the cigarette out of your mouth and blow some smoke out from between your teeth. Before he can completely leave, you call out, “Hey, Kan!”

Kankri turns around and sends you a curious glance. “What—”

Before he could finish his sentence, you drag him closer, twirling him around a bit, and dip him like you’re both dancing. And then you kiss him slowly, still holding onto your precious cigarette. Of course, he thrashes within your grip and his words are muffled, but it’s a pretty damn good kiss.

But, alas, you have to let it end, and put Kankri back on his feet. You don’t give him time to rant and yell at you and wink. “Later, babe. We’re still on for tonight, right?” Another wink.

Then you leave your boyfriend, who is speechless and blushing a deep, crimson red. “Whatever! I can’t believe I’m stuck with someone as insensitive as you, you annoying barbarian! You make me sick with your stupid hair and stupid face and stupid…. Blah, blah, blah….” His words fade away the farther you get.

You smirk. Oh yeah, you’re definitely still on for tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also Posted At:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	5. Merry Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was for Halloween!

“…But I do not understand.”

You mentally face palmed. God, why was this kid so damn stupid? “Okay look. It’s simple. I’m gonna be Danny. You’ll be Sandra Dee. I even got you a wig and everything.”

Kankri juts out his bottom lip.

“Aw, c’mon, Kan. It’s Halloween! What’s Halloween without a little fun.”

“I outgrew trick-or-treating when I was five.”

You snort. “What the fuck? What kinda bullshit is that—”

“I realized it was childish and stupid. And I will not be degraded like this by being put into platform heels and a skintight suit. There’s just no way.”

You waggle your eyebrows. “Ohhhhh, but baby you’d look so good in it. Shit, it’s getting me all hot and bothered just by thinking about it.”

 “E-Exactly, which is why it would be worse for me to actually _wear_ the thing.”

You decide there’s only one strategy left—the big, water eyes.

“No. Cronus. No. Stop. None of this. Please. You know I cannot resist the watery eyes tactic. Please. No—urrrrgh. Fine.” He snatched the outfit out of your hands. “I’ll put it on. But don’t expect me to enjoy it.”

You let out a little squeal and kiss his cheek. “Thank you, darling! Now, I need to go get beautified. You just get dolled up now.” You wink. “I want you to look pretty.”

Kankri blushes and huffs, stomping away toward the bathroom.

*

Once you’re finished with your hair and costume, you knock on the bathroom door. “Hey Kan, you finished yet?”

You get a squeaked reply of, “Y-Yeah, almost.”

“Well can I come in then?” you ask, reaching for the doorknob.

“Wait—NO!”

But it’s too late. You’re standing in the doorway of the bathroom, looking at your sexy boyfriend wearing skintight clothing and red high heels. And—fucking _hell_ , the kid is wearing makeup. A ring of eyeliner and—is that mascara? Lipstick? Holy hell, you’ve never seen anything so…

So…

…Incredibly _hot_ in your entire life.

So all you can do, while he stands, mortified, is go up to him, and drag him in for a long, slow kiss. He whines into your mouth and drags you closer. Closer to him. You smile when he parts from kissing and just stands there, holding you, vice versa. You try to ignore the way that the costume brings out his perfectly sculpted ass and just focus on how _adorable_ he is when embarrassed.

God, it feels like you both are the star-crossed lovers in one of his brother’s awful romance novels.

“Just so you know, I’m not wearing the wig,” he grumbles.

You laugh and kiss his forehead. “And I’m completely okay with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also posted at:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	6. Paying Attention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rule 63 ahead

You’re not listening to her. How can you, when her sharp hipbones are jutted out like that, and her full lips in a pouty expression? Uh, that’s right. _You can’t._ Her eyes are closed and her ridiculously long eyelashes brush her cheek. The way there’s one strand of hair that escaped from her ponytail, falling in her face, makes you want to just kiss her all over. She has no idea what kind of effect she has on you, and frankly, you don’t want her to. The mere thought of her knowing that you pity her more than anything in the world actually makes you cringe.

Because… she’d never shut up about how your feelings _trigger her_.

But no, you can’t hide your feelings _forever_. Someday, you’re going to mess up and say something stupid like, “Kan, you’re so hot, let’s fuck.”

Oh yeah, real smooth.

Your eyes are on her black lips, which are moving at a ridiculously fast pace. _How can that girl talk so damn fast? She’s like a freakin’ motor-mouth. Is she even breathin’?_ Your eyes don’t even leave her lips, even when they pause with their movement. You don’t notice anything around you. No sights, no sounds… Just her lips.

_God, she’s killing me._

_What if I just…_

You jolt back into reality with fingers snapping in front of your face. “Cronus? Cronus, are you even _listening_ to me? You haven’t been paying attention to one single word I’ve said all day, have you? You know, that is very rude and could… blah…. Blah… blah…” You drift off into La La Land. You’re still watching her lips.

_God, Kan, why do you have to be like this?_

_Hrngh, so sexy._

_What if I just…_

_Sorta…_

_Leaned in and…_

_Yeah…_

You don’t realize you pressed your lips to hers until she punches your shoulder away. Her face is a bright shade of red and she’s biting her lip, like she’s holding back all this rage that built inside her from that one little kiss—

She kisses you and pulls away quickly. Her face is still red and she fold her arms across her chest bashfully. “You’re still not listening to me, are you?” she sighs. She shakes her head before you can respond and facepalms with one hand. “I should have known.”

“Sorry Kan,” you say, rubbing the back of your neck, smirking a bit. “Just couldn’t help it.”

She looks up at juts her bottom lip out, smiling only a little. “Well I’ll just have to make it a habit of making you listen.” There’s a slight purr to her voice that you’ve never heard from her… _ever_.

You burst out laughing and ruffle her hair a bit. She smiles when you wrap your arm around her shoulder and pull her closer. “Kankri Vantas, you’ve got you whipped.”

“Oh… I’m sorry.”

“No, that’s a good thing,” you said, smiling. “That’s a _very, very_ good thing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also Posted at:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	7. Sickfic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i was sick so i wrote this dumb thing

You’re not a goddamn lusus.

You don’t know what to do when someone gets sick.

Especially your goddamn matesprit.

*

Kankri groans. “Croooooooooooonus. What is taking so long?”

Your right eye twitches. As it turns out, Kankri is more of a nuisance when sick. His words get slurred more and he talks faster than anyone you’ve ever met. And he’s needy.

Very needy.

You look down at what the Rose human calls, “A perfect remedy for a sick person.” You’re not sure what it’s supposed to be or how drowned cluckbeast meat will ever cure Kankri, but you’ll take your chances. You sigh and call out, “Hold your damn hoofbeasts, Kan! I’ll be there in a second.”

“… It’s been a second!” he calls back out.

You groan and bring the bowl into his room, where he’s curled up in a pile of blankets and captchalogued pillows. His nose is bright red, as are his cheeks. His eyes are bloodshot, his hair is messy, and there are even darker bags under his eyes.

He looks… pretty pathetic.

You sigh and sit down next to him. “Here,” you hand him the bowl. “Rose said it should help you feel better or some shit.”

He almost scowls at the damn thing. “I don’t want it.”

“Why?”

“It looks unappetizing.”

“Hey! I worked hard on that shit!”

“I am sorry, Cronus, that you had to put a can of soup in the microwave and heat it up. Such a pity,” he spits out, not amused. Haha, he’s also much sassier.

“Kan, eat the damn soup,” you say, shoving the bowl in his face.

“Cronus, no,” he says, growling a bit.

“ _Kan,_ yes,” you retort back. You set the bowl down next to you and shove him down so he’s thrashing against your grip and being forced to lie down on the pile.

“Let me go!” he screeched, kicking and shoving and biting at you.

“No! Not until you eat your damn soup!”

“No!”

“Kankri Vantas you will eat this goddamn captchalogued human soup and you will fucking _like_ it!” You yell.

You get two spoonfuls into his mouth before you give up and leave him to sulk in peace.

…

“Ah, yes, hello Cronus. How is Kankri?” the Rose asks, smiling as you walk by. “Did the soup help?”

You turn around and glare at her stupid face. You raise your right hand and salute her with your middle finger. “Fuck you and your damn soup. I never want to see that ugly food ever again.”

You leave her with an almost bemused expression on her face.

Fuck her.

And fuck her soup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also posted at:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	8. Unrequited

Your heart was pounding.

You couldn’t move, couldn’t speak.

You couldn’t breathe.

It felt like your chest was going to explode, like your lungs were going to give out at any second. They ached.

They ached with longing. Longing for the one thing you could never have.

He acts like he knows everything and he thinks he knows what’s best for everyone. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t know at all. He doesn’t notice the way you make hopeful glances this way, like a schoolgirl crush. He doesn’t seem to realize why you think he’s perfect.

He’s perfect. Absolutely perfect.

You’re just a stupid, childish ass with no way to go in life. You pretend to have so much sex appeal and pretend you’re the hottest thing that’s come out of Beforus. You look at everything like it’s a joke and that it all belongs to you.

You act like you’re perfect, but you’re not.

He is. He’s flawless.

Not a crack, not a crevice. Nothing.

He’s wonderful.

Amazing.

Desirable.

But not yours.

He snapped his fingers in front of your face. “Cronus? Are you even listening to me? Or are you just lost in a—trigger warning—sexual fantasy? You know, it’s really rude to not pay attention to when people are talking to you and…”

He’s so perfect.

You want him.

“…To think about one’s well-being is an importance to life and you can’t just…”

But he doesn’t want you.

“…Honestly, what kind of…”

He doesn’t want anyone.

“…Cronus?”

And that’s the worst thing of all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also posted at:   
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	9. Under Pressure

“Cronus, I swear, I have to turn in the rough copy by _tomorrow_. I cannot have you distracting me. If I am late at giving this to Porrim, she’ll chop my head off with her knitting needles.” Kankri’s left eye twitched unflatteringly. The heat was blasted to the maximum in his and Cronus’ tiny apartment because it was the coldest day of the year outside. Kankri’s first draft of his newest work was due to the editing company by the next day, and so far, Kankri was getting nowhere, especially considering Cronus wouldn’t leave him alone.

“Aw, c’mon, Kan,” Cronus whined, flopping across Kankri’s lap. “You’re so fuckin booooooorin.”

Kankri leaned back in his leather chair and gripped at his hair. “I do not have time for this right now. I am stuck on my very last chapter and I have less than twenty-four hours to finish this up and get it printed.”

“You don’t have time for _anything_ anymore. Even me.” Cronus jutted out his bottom lip, pouting. “And I’m your cruddy boyfriend. You could at least squish in time for me, yeah?”

The writer rubbed at his temple and closed his eyes, irritated. He sighed and said, “Cronus, please. If you love me as much as you say you do, you would go back to writing music or whatever and not bothering me. I am at a stressed point, and I wouldn’t _be_ in this position if I hadn’t have made _more_ time for you. So, in technicality, the blame for my frustration is out on you. And my headache.”

Cronus smiled lightly and winked. “I know something that will get rid of your headache,” he purred. “And it starts with an ‘s’ and ends with ex. Know what I’m getting at here, babe?”

Kankri scowled, a light blush forming at his cheeks. “Cronus, I am not afraid to dump you off of my lap.”

“But then I would be in pain. You would have _triggered_ me.”

Kankri’s left eye twitched again.

“Come on,” Cronus groaned, closing his eyes. “I’m fucking bored. And it’s not like I’m askin you to rob a bank with me or whatever. Just sex. And maybe post-cuddles afterward. Then I’ll let you alone so you can write on whatever kinda bullshit comes out of your precious little head.”

Kankri sighed. What’s the point? He won’t leave unless Kankri gives in. So,

Putting his forehead against Cronus’, Kankri breathes out, “Alright. Fine. But you _have_ to leave me alone after.”

Cronus nearly squeaked and crashed their lips together quickly and pecking lightly at Kankri’s nose before pulling him into the bedroom.

*

“You look awful,” Porrim noted as she slipped the printed copy of Kankri’s book into her briefcase. “Long night?”

“You have no idea Porrim. No idea at all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also posted at:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	10. gotta go fast

“I refuse.”

Cronus blinked. “Jeez, that was a really quick reply to my harmless question. What’s got you so terrified?”

Kankri stared up at the coaster with wild eyes. “Cronus, do you even _see_ this thing? It is taller than the Empire State Building!”

“Kan, you are being dramatic over nothing. This thing is pathetic.”

“Are we looking at the same _death trap_ here?”

Cronus sighed and face palmed. “This is supposed to be a _date_ , Kan. We’re supposed to be all romantic and sickly sweet like caramel or whatever. I’m supposed to be the big, strong man that comforts the woman while she is in a terrified state and carry her off into the sunset for a happily ever after. Or in this case, my room. For sex.”

After the mini-speech, Kankri silently stared at his not-boyfriend impassively. “There are over a hundred things I could say about what you just said—”

Cronus groaned. “For Christ’s sake.” He grabbed tightly onto Kankri’s wrist. “We are going to ride this rollercoaster together. And you are going to scream and be terrified while I…” He struggled to pull Kankri along, who was fighting back. “…fucking woo you so hard that you will pass out.”

“Cronus—” Kankri whined.

“Okay, that’s it. You have forced me to bring out the big guns.” Cronus rolled up the sleeves of his leather jacket and picked Kankri up in one swift motion.

The manhandled boy screeched in his ~~boy~~ friend’s arms and thrashed around, hoping to escape. But to no avail. Cronus dumped him into the waiting front seat of the vehicle and strapped him in.

“Can’t believe it. You’re acting like a child. Fuckin baby,” Cronus grumbled as he buckled in.

Kankri crossed his arms over his chest. “I hate you so much right now.”

“Love ya too, babe.”

It wasn’t until the park employees checked their straps and hit the go button that Cronus realized just exactly _how big_ this coaster was and how badly he hated heights.

*

“Guess the tables turned for your fantasy then?” Kankri laughed, rubbing soothing circles on Cronus’ back, while the other cried like a child. “This is honestly quite, humorous, Cronus.”

“Shut your fuckin mouth, Kan. _God_ I hate you.” He laid his head down on Kankri’s lap. “We are having sex tonight whether you like it or not.”

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also posted at:   
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	11. Thanksgiving With The Maryams

Many would wonder how the two males ended up like this, sitting at a Chinese takeout, eating honey chicken and rice like their life depended on it, with one wearing a dirty wedding dress with makeup all over his face. And the other wearing footie pajamas covered in dry grease. Many people would wonder what happened to those two boys, much less on Thanksgiving.

*

“Cronus, hurry up. I told Porrim I would be at her house by nine so I could help her with her fashion line.” Kankri tapped his foot impatiently. “And don’t forget the stuffing I made!” he shrieked. “If we forget again this year, Meenah will throw us out a window.”

“Don’t get your tight-fittin pants in a twist, Kan. We aren’t gonna be late,” Cronus grumbled, walking into the room and carrying the container full of stuffing. “’Sides, I got the goods right here. And I ain’t talkin bout me.” He gave a sly wink and his boyfriend merely scoffed.

“Stop being so—” Kankri stared at Cronus in disbelief. “Cronus. Are… Are you wearing my footie pajamas?”

Cronus looked down and shrugged. “Yeah. They’re pretty comfortable.”

“And… And _why_ are you wearing them, may I ask?”

He shrugged again. “I was already wearing them and considerin you woke me up at seven o’ fuckin clock in the mornin, I thought I could take a nap at your lady friend’s place.”

Kankri blushed and sputtered out, “Porrim is not a _lady friend_. She’s—She’s…”

Cronus laughed and patted Kankri on the cheek. “Just messin with ya, chief.” Then he lightly pecked Kankri on the lips. “Now, let’s head over to Porrim’s house so I can take a well-deserved nap.” He strutted out the house, with Kankri dazedly following him.

*

“Good gracious, what on earth are you wearing? _Both_ of you.” Porrim gave a disgusted look at the two men standing in her doorway. _No way_ was she going to be seen with them walking in her house. It looked like those two boys just threw up a JcPenny’s catalogued. The horror. 

Kankri looked down at what he was wearing. “What is wrong with this?” he asked defensively.

“Kanny, that sweater is horrendously _Christmas_.” She stuck out her pierced tongue in distaste.

“Well _you_ were the one who made is for me.”

“I was only thirteen! Ugh, it’s so horrible and… It’s not even Christmastime yet.” Then she looked at Cronus. “I should have known better than to think you would even try to look decent.” She sighed when Cronus gave a smirk. She put her head in her hands and waved them inside. “Come on inside, then.”

Cronus and Kankri made their way inside the small house. Classical music filled the air.

“I assume Kanaya is here, then?” Kankri asked, taking off his shoes and setting them in the foyer.

Porrim nodded. “So are your brother and her girlfriend and Eridan.” She looked over at Cronus. “He came over with Karkat.”

“Karkat? How did her even get here? Last time I checked, he was still in bed.”

“Apparently, you and your, to quote him, ‘stupid greaser hipster douche of a fuck buddy’,” she paused when Cronus made a choked-whining sound and Kankri blushed, “Were too busy macking on each other to notice he just went out and left. So now I don’t have to pick him up.”

“When are Meen and Ara gonna be here?” Cronus asked casually, flopping down on the empty couch, trying to get comfortable.

Porrim scowled in distaste. “They should arrive in a few hours.”

“Also, I’m just gonna sleep here alright? Kan woke me up too early for comfort.”

“Alright, but don’t be surprised if you wake up with a sharpie mustache on your face.”

Cronus saluted.

Porrim sighed and shook her head and dragged Kankri by the arm to her sewing room. “Come along, Kanny. We have enough time before the turkey’s ready to fit you into some clothes.”

Kankri halted. “Wait… I thought I was going to help you—”

“You are. You’re going to try on some clothes I have prepared for Aranea and Meenah’s wedding.”

“But—”

“No buts!” she snapped, pulling Kankri into the room and closing the door. “You will try on these clothes and so _help_ me, you are _not_ going to complain.”

*

“Will you two please stop making googly eyes at each other?” Karkat asked, disgusted. “I’m going to have to gauge my eyes out if you two keep doing it.”

Kanaya smiled and blushed. “I’m sorry Karkat, but you have no room to complain.” Her eyes shifted between Eridan and Karkat. Rose smirked and laughed.

Karkat sputtered and flipped her off. “Fuck you and fuck you.” He promptly held out another finger for Rose.

Eridan laughed and grabbed Karkat’s raised hand. “Jeez, Kar, what’s got your small dick in a twist?”

Karkat used his free hand, the one that wasn’t occupied by his not-boyfriend’s hand.

Eridan looked over at Rose. “Is Rox gonna be over today? Or is she spendin it with her boy-toy Strider?”

Rose snorted. “What a lovely name for Dirk. But yes, she will be spending her day with the Striders. Then she’s gonna go visit Callie at the hospital.”

“How fucking sentimental,” Karkat grumbled.

*

“Meenah, we are here three hours late.” Aranea tried to grab for her fiancé. “Meenah!”

Meenah whirled around and grinned. “Serket, Cronus is here. Do you know how much fun I am going to have fucking around with his ass? And if he and Vantass forgot the stuffing again—”

Aranea sighed. “I know, I know. You’ll feed them to your piranha and laugh as they beg for mercy.”

Meenah smiled and cooed, “You know me so well.” She gave Aranea a small peck and bounded up the steps to Porrim’s house. She didn’t bother to knock and just opted to waltz right on in like it was her crib.

Aranea silently followed behind.

“Well at least they remembered the stuffing,” Meenah sighed happily. Then she started cackling quietly. “Ah shit, Serk! You gotta see this shit!”

Sprawled on the cough in kitten-covered footie pajamas and snoring like a freight train, was none other than Cronus Ampora.

“Fuck, Serk! Grab me a pen! This is too rich!”

“Meenah, I don’t thin—”

“Less thinking, more getting!” Meenah whined. “This is a one-in-a-lifetime chance, babe. I’m not passing up the ability to draw dicks on Amporass’ face. Now where’s my glubbing pen?”

*

“I feel uncomfortable.”

“Stop complaining, Kanny.”

“Porrim, I am currently in a wedding gown and am in very numbing high heels. You are putting makeup on my face and I feel like my face alone weighs a hundred pounds. I have _the right_ to complain…. Why do you even have to put makeup on me, anyway?”

“It’s to get a better understanding, darling.”

“Why couldn’t you have used Aranea for this instead?”

“I’m not finished with the dress yet, Mr. Fussy!” She scowled.

“Really? It looks pretty well finished to me,” Kankri grumbled. “Add anything else and I might as well be as fashionable as those Brits from the royal wedding.”

Porrim smacked him upside the head. “I’ve had it with your sass, Kankri! Just shut up and let me finish!”

“No! I am getting sick and tired of this, Porrim! I am not doing this anymore.” He stepped off from the stand.

“Kankri Vantas, you get back here right now and let me put this lipstick on you!” She rushed toward him, lipstick at the ready.

“NO!” Kankri bounded out the door and sped down the stairs, barely running into Meenah.

They both just stared at each other for a second until Meenah lifted up her phone, snapped a picture, and ran out the front door, laughing like a madman.

And of course, Kankri followed, shouting at her.

*

“Meenah, you stupid ass,” Aranea sighed.

Cronus kept examining his face in the mirror. “I can’t believe it. Not only did she give me and mustache and draw penises on my face, but she woke me up by dumping the extra ham grease on me.”

Aranea rolled her eyes. “Well now she has your boyfriend chasing after her in stiletto heels, so we better hurry up and try to catch them.”

Cronus looked up at her in shock. “What the fuck?”

She sighed. “I don’t know. You tell me.”

*

And so, in the end, the four of them ended up crashing together at the nearby strip mall. Kankri successfully deleted the picture of him in a dress and of Cronus covered in grease. Meenah and Aranea headed back home alone, for the two boys refused to be in their presence.

*

“I think I have meat fat in my hair,” Cronus grumbled on the way home. “Fuckin Meenah.”

“At least you don’t feel like a drag queen,” Kankri said impassively.

They both look at each other for a few seconds.

Cronus had to pull over to the side of the road to avoid hitting anyone from how hard they were both laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also Posted At:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	12. dancing

There was no music playing.

Yet, there they were Cronus and Kankri, dancing to no music. Cronus had his arms wrapped loosely around Kankri’s waist, and the other’s arms wrapped around his neck. Cronus had his chin rested on Kankri’s head while Kankri buried his nose in Cronus’ shoulder.

It would have all been cheesy and romantic, if not for Kankri being the worst dancer in all of Beforus.

“Ouch! Heh, goddamn Kan.” Cronus smiled weakly.

“Oh dear. I’m sorry Cronus. I’m just… I’ve never danced before and—”

Cronus kissed him.  “Shut up.”

Kankri simply when back to coddling his matesprit’s neck.

That is, until he stepped on Cronus’ feet again.

“ _Fuck!_ ” Cronus bit his lip. “Wow you’re… pretty shit at this, aren’t you Kan?” He heard a sniffle come from the troll against him. “Ah, shit, you aren’t—fuck, Kan.” He bent down to reach Kankri’s height and wiped away a few tears from his face. “Don’t start cryin on my like a wriggler now, babe.”

“I’m sorry. I just—I keep stepping on your feet and hurting you. That is very rude of me.” Kankri looked down at the floor. “Maybe we should just stop ‘dancing’ until I get better at it?”

Cronus laughed. “Babe, you’ll always be terrible at this.” He laughed again at Kankri’s blush. “Here… how’s ‘bout this?” He lifted Kankri up and set him down so his feet were on top of Cronus’. “There. Now there’s no worry about you hurting me.” He started shuffling and just moving his feet.

Kankri pouted, his teeth sticking out from his mouth. “Cronus, I am not a wriggler.”

Cronus smiled wryly. “Well you sure are acting like it.” He laughed again and kissed Kankri on the nose. He started humming softly when Kankri put his chin on his shoulder again.

There was no music playing, but it really didn’t matter, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also posted at:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	13. and then i started to cry

Cronus could barely see out the windshield of his Baby; poor thing could use a good scrub. Ah, but not only that, there was dirt and grime all over his Poor Thing. It didn’t really help either that he was stuck in the dark, practically in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere. On his left, there was lovely scenery of grass and even more grass. And on his right, there was grass and a bitchy boyfriend on his man-period. Neither of the two options was really appealing to Cronus’ artistic pallet, so he was forced to actually look out the window and endure the sound of his boyfriend bitching about religion, ironically while lighthearted Christmas music played in the background. He was itching to reach in his back pocket for a cigarette, but he knew that the fucker next to him would screech at him about road safety, even though there’s not a living, breathing soul in the backwoods state of Kentucky.

Kankri and he decided to go up to Michigan to visit Cronus’ family, which consisted of a horny father, horny mother, and a little ten-year-old fuckwit for a little brother. They would have gone to Kankri’s house for Christmas, but considering Kankri’s homeland is fuckin’ India, they decided to pass on the attempt. And also considering from the oh-so-infamous Skype calls that Kankri received at Hell o’ clock in the morning from his thirteen-year-old brat of a brother, Cronus didn’t really want to meet his family, anyway.

So they set off for Lancing, Michigan—some small crevice of a town that no one likes talking about. But, it was closer than India and staying at the U really didn’t sound too appealing considering. And look where that got him—in a car, six hours away from home, not even halfway there, in the middle of nowhere— _in the dark, mind you_ —and a crabby boyfriend who is really starting to get on his nerves.

“I _told_ you we should have stopped at the Inn thirty miles back! I _told_ you, Cronus. And did you listen to me? Of course not! No one listens to me! Not even my own Christ-forsaken boyfriend!” Kankri raised his hand over his head, as if to say, ‘I’m so fucking done,’ which, to be honest, he probably was.

Cronus was about ready to erupt like a volcano, but for his and Kankri’s sake, he kept his cool, only twitching a little bit. “Well _excuse_ me, Kan, for not knowing my way through Kentucky. It’s not like I’ve never been in these parts before.”

“You’ve driven here from the University a million times before!” Kankri protested, glaring a hole in the side of Cronus’ head.

Cronus bit his lip, staring down the road ahead of him angrily. “I don’t usually take this road.” His voice sounded just a wee bit higher than normality. “Because _someone_ was criticizing the way I navigate, we had to take an ‘oh-so-called’ _shortcut_.”

“You didn’t have to take my advice! And I was not criticizing you, Cronus! I was merely trying to help!”

He twitched again. He _really_ wanted a cigarette right now. “And _do tell_ … _why_ would I need your help to get to _my_ family’s estate, when it is _my_ family we are meeting for Christmas? Wouldn’t you think _I_ would know the best was to get to _my fucking house_?” He hissed out the last bit, not even trying to cover up the venom dripping from his voice.

He could feel Kankri’s eyes boring into the side of his head. “There is no reason to get angry at me,” he snapped. “It’s not my fault you got lost!”

Fucking. _Christ_. He really, _really_ wanted a cigarette.

“Kan, I think it would be in your and my best interest if you would kindly _shut the fuck up_.” His teeth gritted together so hard, Cronus felt like his teeth would shatter from the impact. If Kankri kept spouting out bullshit like this, they were never going to make it to the Ampora household. They’d be lost on a deserted road and it’d all be Kankri’s fault. “You’re starting to get on my last nerve.”

“I can’t help it if you make mistakes Cronus! You’re just a horrible navigator, is all!” Kankri nearly screeched.

That. Is. The. Last. Fucking. Straw. Cigarette. _Now._

Cronus dug into his back pocket, not taking his eyes off the road. With a quick flick of his lighter, he sucked in the tobacco, relishing in the euphoric pleasure it gave him. He was almost calmed down until,

“Are you serious? Real mature, Cronus. Go ahead and run to your little _cancer sticks_ to help you with your problems! That is all that you seem to be doing nowadays is hiding and shying away from the troubles in life. And more often than not, it’s with something that could _kill_ you! Do you realize how pathetic you are, Cronus? Do you no see—”

“Oh I can fucking see!” Cronus yelled. He looked over at Kankri angrily. He could feel his eyes flaming with anger. “I can fucking see that my goddamn boyfriend is an insufferable little _shit_. Why don’t you just do us all a favor and jump off a goddamn cliff already!” He still stared at Kankri angrily.

Kankri looked at the road, and his eyes widened in fear. He quickly reached over for the wheel. “Cronus! Look out—”

“Shit—”

_Crash._

The last thing Cronus heard before blackness overtook him was the sickeningly sweet tune of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.”

*

His head pounded. He felt like someone ran over his fifty times and cracked open his skull with a hammer. His legs were numb, but when he tried to move, pain shot down his spine. His headache grew worse, and he groaned. The pain in his skull didn’t help when he opened his eyes to find bright lights and the sound of a Christmas movie playing in the background.

A room appeared in Cronus’ blurred vision, and he looked around quickly, sucking in the details. He was in a tiny room, no bigger than his and Kankri’s dorm. There was a small bouquet of flowers sitting on a table next to him. A ‘get well soon’ balloon that looked like it needed more helium slumped pathetically in the air. Eridan sat next to him in a chair, sleeping. His glasses her slumped down to the tip of his nose and he was drooling. (What was dork.) He heard a small beeping that pounded through his brain and he groaned.

“Cronus?”

He looked over. Aranea sat next to him. When she saw him looking at her, she smiled. But it looked almost… forced.

“Ara?” he croaked. “What the—Where the fuck am I?”

She looked over at Eridan and whispered, “You’re in Kentucky in the hospital.”

“Why are you here, then?” he asked.

She smiled painfully again. “I was visiting my parents up here. I-I got the call about the wreck.”

“What… What wreck?” Last Cronus remembered, he was in the car with Kan and they were arguing about—

Oh.

“You were in a car wreck. Must not have realized you swerved off the road and you hit a tree dead on, in full speed. You can out fine, minor cuts and bruises and a broken arm, but you’re fine.” She giggled. “I can’t say the same about your Baby, though.”

Cronus blinked. It all came back to him. He and Kan arguing. Him taking his eyes off the road for _five fucking seconds_. Kan screaming at him. Darkness. He gulped, and wearily asked, “What about Kan? Is he alright? Can I see him?”

Aranea blinked, and immediately sorrow adorned her pale face. “I’m so sorry, Cronus. I-I’m sorry.” She looked down at her lap and shakily took her hand him his. She whispered brokenly, “I’m so fucking sorry.”

No.

_No_.

No, no, _no, no, no,_ NO, _NO_.

Before anything else could be said, Cronus’ parents burst through the door and Eridan woke up with a yawn.  His parents frantically yelled at him. “Are you alright, oh my poor baby!” and “Don’t fuckin do that ever again, son, do you fucking hear me?” and “God Cro you’re such an idiot,” and “I’m sorry about your friend, Cronus.”

_Friend_.

_We were planning on telling you when we got there._

More frantic cries were yelled, but Cronus heard none of it. There was a ringing in his ears, and all it whispered to him were the words that he last said to Kankri.

_“I can fucking see that my goddamn boyfriend is an insufferable little shit. Why don’t you just do us all a favor and jump off a goddamn cliff already!”_

The tears welled up before he knew it. He didn’t say a word and just let them roll down his cheeks. He didn’t bother wiping them away. What was the point in doing so, anyway? There’d just be more to come.

He called Kankri insufferable. He told him to jump off a cliff.

He never got the chance to tell him that he loves him.

With a broken whisper, all he could muster out was, “Fuck.”

Another tear rolled down his cheek, and landed on his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also posted at:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	14. Porrim's Knitting Club

“I’m starting a knitting club.”

“Oh? And why are you telling me this, then?”

“Hold on. Spray.”

“Cover your nose.”

Porrim did so as Kankri sprayed some quick-dry on her jade-painted toenails. “Because. I’m going to use your apartment.”

Kankri gave her the red nail polish and stretched his legs for Porrim to be able to reach. “And what makes you think I’d let you use my apartment?” He flinched as the cold polish hit his big toenail.

“Because. I’m your friend and you’re allowing me to give you a mani-pedi. Plus I took you out to lunch.”

“But it was an awful lunch.”

“It was still lunch. And I’m not taking no for an answer.”

“Why my apartment?” Kankri inquired, taking a sip of water.

Porrim shrugged. “Your apartment is bigger than mine. Besides, it’s not in the ghetto.”

“Language, Maryam.”

“It’s true.”

“Can’t you use Meenah’s place, considering she lives in a mansion?”

“Stop fidgeting. And _no_ , that’s too big.”

“Sorry.”

“I’m not asking to throw a party here, Kanny. It’s just a knitting club that meets every Friday at five.”

“What if I say no?”

“Too late. I already gave the people of interest your address.”

“You witch.”

“Sorry, Kanny. It’s for the sake of knitting. Now, hand me the spray so I can start on your next foot.”

~  
“I don’t think she has a knitting club.”

“I think she does.”

“How would you know?”

“Because Kanaya is fucking in it, you ass mongrel.”

“Language, Karkat.”

Karkat rolled his eyes and scraped some food to the other side of his plate. He wasn’t hungry. “Why do you even care anyway?”

“Because it is at _my_ apartment.”

“So that’s why you’re invading my dorm.”

“Is that how you feel, Karkat?”

Karkat sighed and rubbed at his eyes. “If you’re so curious about the damn knitting club, why don’t you fucking stay for it? It’s your house; it’s not like they can kick you out.”

Kankri blinked. “Oh.”

Karkat rolled his eyes. “She’s been having this thing at your place for two months and you haven’t even _thought_ of that idea yet? Jesus, you’re dumb.”

“No time for talk, brother. I have a knitting club to invade!”

“It’s over already, wait till next week numbnuts!” Karkat yelled as his older brother left.

~

The next week, on Friday to be exact, Kankri stayed for Porrim’s knitting club. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t a knitting club. Older women, in their late thirties all showed up, along with Kanaya and Rose. Meulin surprisingly showed up and Kurloz tagged along with her, of course. They all his stick-thin needles of all shapes, colors, and sizes. Seeing all of them gave Kankri a headache.

“Kanny, what are you still doing here?” Porrim asked a few minutes before five.

Kankri tilted his chin up. “This is my apartment and you can’t kick me out because I own it. So suck it up and deal, Maryam.”

Porrim raised an eyebrow and shrugged. “I didn’t mean to offend you, Kankri. You just haven’t really stayed before, so I assumed you weren’t interested.”

Kankri’s pride shrank. “Oh.”

She laughed and ruffled his hair. “Just don’t be a little shit, okay?”

Kankri gave a weak salute when the door opened.

“Hey Maryam.”

Porrim sighed and turned to face the perpetrator. “Hello, Cronus. Here to interrogate the ladies again, are we?” She put her hands to her hips.

Cronus Ampora smiled and waved her off. “Please, Porrim. You make me seem like a bad guy. I’m just here to knit and all that shebang.”

She sighed. “Just don’t make Meulin cry, this time. Would you like another Kurloz-given black eye?”

Cronus winced. “Not… particularly.”

“Well, if you’re here for knitting, where’re your supplies?”

“Forgot them.” He looked over at Kankri and looked him up and down, making the other slink back. “Hey, who’s this?”

“Cronus, this is Kankri. Kankri, this is Cronus Ampora, the worst person you’ll even meet.”

Kankri held out his hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

Cronus accepted the hand with a smirk. “Pleasure’s all mine.”

~

“Don’t get too comfortable with him.”

Kankri looked up from his book. Porrim was standing above him, her lips pursed. “What?”

“Cronus. Don’t get too close with him.”

He closed his book and set it to the side. “And why can’t I?”

“Because he’ll break your heart, and I don’t want to pick up the pieces.” She grabbed her keys off the coffee table. “I’ll see you at lunch tomorrow, Kanny.”

~

“That is _not_ how it goes, Kan.” Cronus laughed at Kankri playfully kicked him under the table. “Man, you suck at singing.”

“I do not,” Kankri scoffed. “I sing beautifully.”

“Yeah, right. Even Rufioh is better than you, and he’s pretty damn awful.” Cronus snickered. “How can you not get the tune right for ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star’?”

Kankri blushed. “I guess I could use some practice. Maybe you—”

“It’d be my honor.” Cronus smiled.

~

“You should seriously listen to me, Kanny.” Porrim frowned into her hot chocolate. “You’re growing too attached to him. It’s not good for you. _He’s_ not good for you.”

“I think I would know who is and is not good for me.” Kankri glared into his tea.

“He’s going to break your heart.”

“How do you know?”

“I just _know_ , okay?” Porrim sighed. “I’m only trying to help, Kanny. But you’re not letting me.”

“I think this lunch is over now.” Kankri stood up. “I’ll see you later, Porrim.”

~

“Come on! You can jump higher than that!” Cronus laughed at Kankri’s irritated expression.

“It is too cold for this, Cronus!” he whined.

“It’s _never_ too cold for jumping on a trampoline!” He grinned like a small child on Christmas.  “Come on! Two feet is pitiful!”

“Croooooooonus!” Kankri whined as he was bounced around, hitting the netting along the trampoline.

Cronus cackled and continued to jump, making the trampoline rattle around. He went absolutely wild when he grabbed Kankri’s wrists and dragged the boy up with him, making the other shriek.

“This is _not safe_!” he screeched.

Cronus laughed, and Kankri soon joined him when they both flopped down, exhausted. It was dark out, with a few stars out. Not many, but enough to make you stare for a second or two.

“You could have killed me,” Kankri gasped, out of breath.

Cronus chuckled. “But it was worth it yeah?”

He didn’t notice that there was a pair of lips on his cheek until Kankri had pulled away. “Yeah.” the other boy said. “It was.”

~

“Just what the fuck do you think you are doing?”Porrim hissed in Cronus’ ear as he made his way to Kankri’s door in his apartment on Friday.

Cronus glared at the girl. “Going to see my friend, if that’s okay with you.”

Porrim crossed her arms over her chest. “No. No I’m not okay with that. Ever since you and Kankri met, he has been growing more and more attached to you with every second you spend with each other.”

“Is someone—dare I say it—jealous?”

Porrim scoffed and rolled her eyes. “As if. I’m only trying to protect Kankri. He’s had enough with people trying to use him. He’s had his heart broken once before, and I’m not going to let it happen again.”

Cronus quirked an eyebrow. “So?”

“So you better. Back. Off.” She jabbed a finger at Cronus. “And if you even _dare_ hurt him, I will find you and kill you with my bare hands.”

He blankly stared at her. “Got it chief. Can I go now?” He started walking past her, when she grabbed his arm. Tightly.

“And don’t you dare do that whole one-night bullshit, do you hear me?” she growled.

Cronus stared at the wall in front of them. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

~

“Hey. Merry Christmas.” Cronus grinned and handed Kankri a small package, wrapped in silver.

Kankri looked at the package in surprise. “What’s this?”

“Oh, y’know. Just. A thing. For you.” He smiled and sat down next to Kankri on his bed. When the boy hesitated to open it, he laughed. “Well, are you gonna open it or what?”

“I just. Didn’t get you anything.” Kankri frowned. “And Christmas is two weeks away.”

“So? Nothing wrong with opening early gifts.” He grinned. “Now, go on!”

Kankri lightly smiled and opened the package. He blushed when he saw what was inside. “Oh.”

Cronus smiled. “Isn’t it great?” He picked up what was inside. “Bought it from some person on the side of the road. I made it more fancy-like, but I guess it doesn’t matter about what it looks like, though.” He looked over at Kankri. “And. You know what the old tradition says…” He held the mistletoe stem over his and Kankri’s head. “So I guess that means you gotta—”

Before he could finish the sentence, Kankri’s lips were on his.

~

“You’re making a mistake.”

“I really do not need your criticism right now, Porrim.” Kankri sighed blissfully into his tea. “I really don’t.”

“I’m sorry, but he’s going to hurt you.”

“You don’t know that, Porrim.”

“Actually, I do. Because he did it to me.”

Kankri looked up. “What?”

Porrim sighed. “When… When we were in college, Cronus and I had a thing. He wooed me—I don’t know how. But he did. And he’s doing the same thing to you as he did to me. That mistletoe thing? He used that on me, too. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the same one and he preserved it over the years.”

Kankri looked down into his tea.

“I’m just trying to protect you—”

“He’s not like that.”

“… What?”

“Cronus. He isn’t…” Kankri looked up, glaring. “He isn’t like that. He wouldn’t do that to me.” He looked back down. “He wouldn’t.”

~

“You’re an idiot,” Kankri laughed.

“What? I think I rock the beard.”

“Did you really ride your motorcycle like that?” The boy leaned against his doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest, amused.

“Yeah. Pretty sure I fucked up some kids hope for Santa, though.” He grinned. “Some poor kids riding in a pickup started crying. I felt bad at first, but then I started laughing so hard, I had to stop and take a breather. But. Anyway…” He smiled and dragged Kankri over by his hips. “Merry Christmas.”

Kankri wrapped his arms around Cronus’ neck. “So Santa,” he smirked. “What is it that’s you’ve brought me?”

Instead of replying, Cronus kissed him.

~

Hot, needy kisses. Kisses on necks, shoulders, chests. Hands exploring. Voices crying out, moaning, whispering.

A voice choppily breathes out Kankri’s name. It’s Cronus. He’s kissing Kankri’s neck, whispering and telling him that _oh god I love you so much, you beautiful bastard. Fuck you for being so flawless. I could kiss you every day. I want you. I want you. All of you. I love you. Fuck. I love you. That’s right. Hngh. Yes. Yes, Kankri. I fucking love you so much, it hurts._

_I love you too. Please don’t leave._

_I won’t._

~

“Oh.”  It’s January. When did that happen? Last time he checked, it was New Year’s Eve. And he and Cronus—

Oh.

“I’m sorry, Kanny.”

That’s right.

“I tried to tell you.”

Cronus left before he could tell him good morning.

“I honestly tried.”

He left him.

“Kanny?”

He didn’t really love him.

“I’m so sorry.”

It’s okay, though, he’s used to the heartbreak.

But this time, the cut runs deeper.

 _Huh._ Kankri laughed bitterly. _I guess along the way, I fell in love._

_Ouch._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also Posted at:   
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	15. carry on

Cronus knew that Kankri wouldn’t live as long as he would. The poor chap _was_ a lowblood, after all. Not even that, but a mutant. Kankri was destined to die long before any of their other friends would. And Kankri knew that too, but of course never said anything about it, not wanting to upset Cronus.

It still hurt. It hurt, going to sleep next to Kankri, knowing that the next day could be his last. Knowing that somewhere, sometime in the future, Cronus would have to live a life without Kankri. The only thing in his life that actually _meant_ something.

So he should have seen it coming when Kankri abruptly became ill.

And it wasn’t some mild troll-flu or whatever. It was all of the horrible things that could happen combined into one. Kankri constantly threw up, a copious amount of it being his bright, mutant blood. He would run extremely high fevers and complain that he was freezing. Sometimes, the only way he could speak was by writing down what needed to be said.

Kankri never slept a full nights’ sleep during his illness. He would wake up at ungodly hours of the morning in a cold sweat. And he’d start crying.

Cronus would never let him cry alone.

Kankri was more delicate, even. He would cut and bruise easier. Like his skin was made of the thinnest glass. And if he were to be dropped, the glass would surely break.

Cronus never left Kankri’s side. When Kankri needed him, he was there. If Kankri couldn’t shower by himself, Cronus would help him. There was nothing romantic or sexual about it, but the amount of pity that swelled in through Cronus whenever Kankri would whimper pathetically and whine about the temperature of the water was enough to send the troll backtracking.

_Now was no time to be falling in love with the one thing you have left._

_Because one day, you’ll wake up and realize, he’s gone._

*

The day Kankri died, it was cold. The air was nippy and not even Cronus’ jacket could brace it. He didn’t want to go outside, to leave Kankri.

But the troll had insisted that he go out to buy more food. They were almost out, and Cronus couldn’t live off of air forever. _I could if it meant you were safe._ Cronus, I’m fine. Just go. _I don’t want to, Kan. What if something happens—_. Nothing is going to happen. I’ll be okay. Go.

Cronus came back with enough food to last a whole month.

“Kan! I’m back!” Cronus kicked the door shut.

There was no reply.

“Kan?” _He must be sleeping_ , the optimistic voice told Cronus. _Sleeping._ “Kan!” he yelled again. Still no reply. Huh. Usually, the troll is an extremely light sleeper. He set down the bags of food and made his way upstairs, to Kankri’s respite block.

He pushed open the door lightly and saw Kankri lying peacefully in a pile. He smiled slightly and walked up to him. Cronus ran his fingers through Kankri’s wiry hair and lightly shook him. “Kan. I’m back.”

No reply.

“Kan.” Another shake.

Still no reply.

“Kan? Kan!” Cronus shook the troll hard, practically snapping his neck. He kept yelling Kankri’s name, demanding that he wake up and _fucking get up you lazy douche. You can’t leave me. Fuck, please. You can’t. Not now. I need you. Please. Oh god, oh god, oh god. No. This can’t be happening. I was supposed to be there for you. I knew I shouldn’t have left. This is my fault, all my fault._

_I’m so sorry._

Violet tears ran down the troll’s face as he held the dead troll in his arms.

Cronus had finally lost the only thing that made since in his life.

Love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also posted at:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	16. the insufferables

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked me to write a ficlet with Kankri and Cronus' personalities switched.   
> So I did.

“Well, well, well. What have we here?” Kankri Vantas grinned slyly down at his matesprit, who was sitting against an abandoned hive in a dream bubble. “Looks like we have a lost troll.” He leaned over flirtatiously. Although, why would he even need to be flirting with his matesprit? “Do you need some help, Cronus?”

Cronus Ampora glared at the patch of skyline in front of him and jutted out his bottom lip, making a rather adorable pouty face. “No thank you, Kankri. I am fine just sitting here.”

“Really? Are you sure? Something could happen and…” he grinned. “We wouldn’t want that. Now would we?”

Cronus dully looked up at Kankri. “Trigger warning: annoying matesprit.”

Kankri barked out a laugh and sat down next to Cronus, wrapping an arm around the other’s shoulders. He grinned some more when Cronus gave him an irritated look. “Aw… What’s the  matter, little seadweller? Miss your lusus?”

Cronus lightly shoved Kankri away. “If you do remember, _Kan_ , my lusus was taken away by an orange man with terrible fashion sense.” When Kankri scooted closer to him, he growled. “Do you _mind_?”

“No I don’t mind; you can continue talking.” Kankri smiled wryly. “You won’t bother me.”

With a groan, Cronus attempted to shove Kankri away—not too hard, though. Wouldn’t want to upset the other. But when Kankri only persisted to _sit in Cronus’ lap_ , he realized hope was futile. “Do you have _any_ decency _at all_?” he spat out harshly.

“Sure I do. I just choose not to be decent. Mostly around you.”

“And why only me?” Cronus asked irritably.

“Because you’re fun to tease,” he replied simply, putting a little kiss onto the other’s nose. “And you’re the only one who can tolerate me.”

“That’s right. You’re the Insufferable.”

“That offends me,” he replied with a snarky voice. Then he smiled. “But at least you’re more insufferable than I am.”

“Then why would they give you the title of being insufferable?”

“I may me insufferable, but you’re the _most_ insufferable.”

Cronus made a face like a gasping fish.

Kankri laughed and kissed his forehead. “But hey, at least we can be insufferable together.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also posted at:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	17. kankri's alternian self has got it goin on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a request on tumblr

The guy was almost a splitting image of Kankri; he had the messy, scruffy hair and nubby horns that obviously distinguished he was indeed a Vantas. But there were differences between Kankri and the troll standing in front of the two matesprits. For one, he was much taller, about a head and a half taller than Cronus, and two heads taller than Kankri. His horns were larger than Kankri’s and the troll had a small line of hair that could barely count as a beard. It should have looked strange and almost silly but Cronus found it almost endearing. And hot. The other difference between the two Vantases was that this new troll was much more built than Kankri could ever hope to be. His muscles were very defined and Cronus had the desire to just _touch_ them. But he knew that that would trigger Kankri and he would rather not have that happen.

Kankri could see how Cronus was basically ogling at his Alternian self. The seadweller was practically _drooling_ over him, and Kankri felt a stab of jealously and for a brief moment, he thought, _what if Cronus leaves me for me? Or… wait. What if he starts liking this troll more than me? Oh god, oh god, oh god…_

“Hello, grubs,” the Signless said, giving a bright, toothy smile.

Cronus nearly melted on the spot. His voice was so _deep_ and _god his smile was perfect._ He felt his blood pusher beat rapidly and he began fussing over himself. _Is my hair alright? Do I have something in my teeth? What if my breath smells bad? Shit, I forgot to floss this morning! I bet I look stupid; these clothes are so wrinkled oh man!_

“It seems that our dream bubbles have crossed for the first time,” the troll said. “So, it would only be respectful if I introduced myself. I am the Signless.” He held out a hand for Kankri to shake. “You must be my ancestor then?”

Kankri felt the need to scream. _Is this troll stupid?_ He refrained from screaming and politely shook the hand that was given to him. “No, I believe that is Karkat. I am actually you from another universe. My name is Kankri Vantas and this is my _matesprit_ Cronus Ampora.” He emphasized on the word _matesprit_ to the let homewrecker know, _he’s mine_.

The Signless turned toward Cronus and gave him a grin, which made the seadweller outright blush. “Then you must be Orphaner Dualscar’s other self?” Cronus noticed that he winced when he said his Alternian self’s name. The Signless held out a hand to shake. “Please to meet you, then, Cronus.”

Cronus stared at the hand dumbly for a few seconds, but shakily returned the gesture. “L-Likewise,” Cronus returned. He gave a small smile.

Kankri was practically seething; this troll, this… this _Signless_ was stealing his matesprit from him, every second he continued to stand in their presence. Kankri couldn’t stand to see Cronus blushing like an idiot over this better version of him. That’s when realization hit him like a freight. _Better_. This troll was better than Kankri could ever hope to be. He was strong, masculine, and actually _did_ something with his life that changed the way that people viewed Alternia.

The Signless was a much better troll than Kankri, and Cronus knew that, which delivered a punch to Kankri’s stomach.

“I was hoping if you two could possibly help me,” the Singless started, “you see, I was…”

The Signless’ words were drowned out in Kankri’s thoughts as he continued to watch Cronus fall hopelessly for this older troll. He realized that it was hopeless. Kankri was going to lose Cronus to the Signless. So, he cleared his throat. “I apologize for rudely interrupting you but…” He turned to Cronus and set his hands on his shoulders. “It’s okay, Cronus.”

Cronus raised an eyebrow in confusion. “What?”

“It’s alright if you leave me for the Signless. I can see without fail that you have developed some sort of feelings for him that you cannot control and that have severed the feelings you had for me. Although it pains me to think about you with another troll, let alone a much better version of me, I only seek your happiness. So, it is alright by me if you want to end your matespritship with me and start anew with the Signless.” Kankri could feel tears bite in the back of his eyes, but he forced them back with a blink.

Cronus blinked, once, twice. Then he started laughing.

Kankri’s blood pusher broke in two. _He’s laughing at me. He must think I’m so stupid and now he will definitely run off with the Signless._ He began to back away, but Cronus wrapped his arm around Kankri’s shoulder and kept laughing.

“Kankri Vantas, you are the most pathetic troll I have ever met.” He continued chuckling and wiping his watering eyes. “Jesus, it’s adorable, really.”

Kankri looked appalled. “What?” he squeaked out.

Cronus smiled and shook his head. “I don’t pity the Signless, you idiot.”

Kankri felt the blood drained from his face. “W-What? You don’t?”

“No! I pity you, you ass.” Cronus smirked. “Even if I had a crush on him, you’d still be the most pathetic troll in these dream bubbles.”

Kankri blushed and lightly pushed Cronus off of him. “Shut up,” he mumbled. He looked up at Cronus. “So that means you still pity me?”

Cronus rolled his eyes and flicked Kankri’s forehead. “Of course I still pity you, you thickheaded moron!” He kissed Kankri’s temple and laughed. “Who else would be able to handle you?”

Kankri pouted. “You know, you are being very rude right now.”

“No ‘m not.” Cronus kissed Kankri’s nose. “Now come on. I think a date is in order and because you’re such an idiot, I get to pick the movie this time.” He dragged Kankri away, laughing.

The Signless stood there, staring at the two trolls who had stopped him while he was asking his question. “Yeah, okay.” He looked up at the sky. “It’s not like I’m here anyway.” He sighed and shook his head. “Little brats. Need my Disciple.” Then he proceeded to walk away like he wasn’t just talking to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also posted at:   
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	18. idiotic boyfriends

“I told you we should have stopped for gas at that gas station three miles back.” Kankri leaned against the old, red pickup truck that Cronus refused to take into a repair shop and thought that he could fix it himself. It was also the pickup truck that Cronus refused to get gas for back when there was actually civilization. It was also the car that Cronus was so attached to and refused to replace.

Cronus scowled and went around to the back of the truck to get the gas box he always kept there. “Look, it ain’t my fault I didn’t know we’d run out of gas so soon.” He snatched the red box from the trunk and went up to the side of the car. Kankri kept in the urge to trip him.

Kankri hit the back of his head against the window. “It’s not just about the gas. There’s something wrong with the car.”

“Bullshit.” Cronus flipped the gas flap open and filled up the car. “She’s perfectly fine; I fixed her up before we even left.”

“No offence Cronus, but you are awful at mechanics.” Kankri stared at the field that they were parked next to.

“How is that not of offence to me?” Cronus spat. Once the tank was full, he closed the flap and tossed the empty gas container into the trunk. “Now let’s hope this will get us back to California or at least somewhere with civilization. He opened the driver’s side and got into the car. Kankri didn’t budge from his place against the car. “Come on, Kan. Get in. We don’t have all fucking day.”

Kankri sighed and climbed into the passenger’s seat. “The car isn’t going to work, idiot,” he muttered.

“I’m going to laugh at you and go all ‘I told you so’ on your ass when it does.” Cronus smirked as he turned the key, but frowned when there was just a sputter. He tried it again and again until he gave up and set his head against the steering wheel.

“I don’t mean to toot my own horn here but. I told you so,” Kankri said, getting out of the car.

Cronus sighed and got out of the car, slamming the door. He went around to the back of the truck again. “This is no problem. I brought the toolbox with me in case something like this happened. He leaned over the trunk and grabbed the dulled maroon box and opened it.

“What do you think you are doing?” Kankri asked when Cronus went up to the front of the truck and opened it.

Cronus coughed as steam rose from the engine, and he waved it away with his hand. “I’m helping our asses here.”

Kankri glared at Cronus. “Oh no you’re not.” He snatched the box from Cronus’ reach.” It’s because of your awful mechanics skills that we are in this mess.”

“It’s not because of me that the car won’t work!” Cronus protested.

“Of course it’s you!” Kankri argued. “You’re the one who refuses to buy a new car, to take this one to a professional mechanic, and to refuse to refill it before leaving the motel! This is all your fault and you know it!” Kankri tossed the toolbox into the back of the truck.

“Hey—Be careful with that!” Cronus glared at Kankri. “The fuck is your problem, Kan? I didn’t do shit to this car!”

“Yes you did! You’re just so stubborn and refuse to let anyone but yourself touch your goddamn car! And you insist that you can fix it but you can’t because you are _shit_ with cars!”

Cronus kept glaring at Kankri. “Jeez, what a supportive boyfriend _you_ are. And you have no room to talk, Mister ‘I-can’t-make-it-through-one-year-of-law-school’ Vantas. Why don’t you fucking fix the car yourself if you think you can do it better.”

“I don’t think I can do it better than you; I just think that we should get help.”

“Fucking _fine_! Let’s get help. Who should I call hm? Oh that’s right. We get no signal out here. Or what if we just wait here to be picked up by some _Jeepers Creepers_ truck or get fucking killed by some _Texas Chainsaw Massacre_ shit!”

Kankri glared at Cronus until he turned around and headed in the direction they came from.

“The fuck are you going?” Cronus yelled.

“To get help to fix your shitty car!” Kankri yelled back.

“What the fuck, Kan! The goddamn gas station is three miles back and it’s going to get dark soon!”

“I don’t care! I’d rather be kidnapped than have to deal with your whiny ass any longer!”

“Well fucking hell. I’m coming with you anyway.”

“ _No_ , Cronus.” Kankri wheeled around and glared at him. “I just want to be alone for right now.”

“But—”

“Leave me alone!” Kankri screamed. “Go… sleep off the stress or something. I’ll be back soon.”

“You know what? Fine! Go get kidnapped! Get killed for all I care you little shit!” Cronus opened the driver’s side of slid in, slamming the door. He glanced at the reflection of Kankri leaving and sighed, resting his head on the dashboard. “Fuck my life.”

Four hours later, and Kankri wasn’t back. Cronus tried to get the fact that Kankri was out alone, in the dark off of his mind. He tried playing some really stupid games on his phone, but gave up and tried texting Kankri. He received no replies and resorted to standing on the hood of the car and trying to get a signal. “Fuck, Kan. Where the hell are you?”

In the end, Cronus resorted to trying to sleep, like Kankri had suggested. Soon after he had leaned the seat back and rested his head, he was asleep.

*

“Cronus. Cronus.” Something flicked Cronus’ forehead, and he awoke with a start.

“Shit! Wha—” Cronus peered at the person next to him. “Kan! You’re alive!” Cronus flung his arms around Kankri’s waist and clung to his middle. “Thank god I thought some creeper had taken you away and you were dead oh god.” To prove his happiness, Cronus wrapped his arms around Kankri’s neck and gave him a long kiss.

“Mpfh! Cronus!” Kankri laughed as his boyfriend fervently kissed all over his face and neck.

“Oh god ‘m so sorry, Kan. I’m so sorry I love you so much.” Cronus pulled Kankri into the car and kept kissing him.

Kankri snorted and hugged Cronus back. “It’s alright. I’m sorry as well, for insulting you.”

“Why were you gone so long?” Cronus mumbled as he placed a few kissed along Kankri’s jaw.

“I had to wait for the repair guy to arrive at the gas station. They let me use their pho _ne_ — _Cronus_!” Kankri blushed as a pair of hands crept up his shirt. Cronus kept kissing Kankri’s face.

“Hm?” Cronus hummed. “So is the car fixed now?”

“Yes h-he took care of it while you were sleeping.” Kankri laughed nervously when his shirt was up to his armpits and the lips that were once on his face were on his chest. When a tongue poked out and licked up his stomach, Kankri laughed loudly. “O-okay, Cronus. I’m glad to see you too. But we should really start heading out.”

“Mhm.”

“Cronus.”

“Yeah?”

“We have to start heading out, and that means you have to be driving.”

“But I like cuddling you. S’nice.” Cronus grinned and rested his head on Kankri’s chest. “’Sides you didn’t get any sleep last night, did ya?”

“No?”

“Then sleep. Just take a break.” Cronus tightened his hold around Kankri.

Kankri sighed and rested his hand on Cronus’ head. “I guess there’s no point in fighting you.” He rested his head down on the seat and closed his eyes, his hand still running through Cronus’ hair. Cronus gave a hum of appreciation.

“Oh, and Cronus?” Kankri mumbled, halfway asleep.

“Hm?”

“I used your credit card to pay for the car repairs.”

“You piece of shit.”

Kankri fell asleep with a satisfied smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also posted at:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	19. a cold and broken hallelujah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a sadstuck prompt from tumblr  
> tw: death

They had a fight. It wasn’t surprising of them, to have one. Usually, though, it will be just about a stupid little thing, like Cronus forgetting to do laundry for three weeks, or Kankri being too fidgety about where things go and how things are done. Sometimes it’d even be about who got to make who dinner that night or who the big spoon was and who the little spoon was. Silly things like that.

He left because Kankri had taken it too far. He had done terrible things to Cronus before, but never the outright _disgusting_ things that Kankri had said to him. He’d called him ‘desperate’ and ‘pathetic.’ He’d said that Cronus was just a tool and that no one would miss his disgusting self. Especially if Cronus kept on flirting with others while he was in a more-than-just-housemates relationship with Kankri.

So Cronus had left. He grabbed his jacket, his wallet, his house keys, and just left. Kankri didn’t worry; he’d just assumed that Cronus was at a bar somewhere getting plastered off his ass and fucking another whore. Kankri didn’t mind. He never let Cronus go as far as casual touching, which was the cause of their fight in the first place. Cronus had been needy and wanted Kankri to let him fuck him. But Kankri had shoved him off and yelled at him for pressuring him. Which, of course, led to the unneeded words Kankri spewed out.

Cronus didn’t come back the next day. Kankri didn’t take any mind by it. If they had a bad fight like they had, Cronus would sometimes go to his brother’s place for a few days then come back like nothing had happened.

A few days later, and Cronus was still not back. Worried, Kankri called Eridan.

“No, he ain’t here. Why?”

Kankri hung up, not answering Eridan. He quickly called Cronus’ parents.

“No. The brat didn’t come over here. Why?”

“He’s missing. He hasn’t been home for a few days,” Kankri said, his voice shaking. “We… We had a fight and he left and oh god.”

“Calm down kid. Just check around. If ya can’t find him, call us again.”

Kankri checked the numerous bars in town. Cronus wasn’t there. He checked with all of Cronus’ potential ‘friends’ and ‘acquaintances’. They didn’t know where he was. He checked everywhere he could. Nothing. No signs of his boyfriend.

The next few days after that, Kankri spent his time making missing person signs and putting them up with Eridan.

“It’s kinda weird, isn’t it?” Eridan muttered, after putting up another sign on a lamp post. “Not knowing where he is. It’s like, you just expect him to pop outta nowhere and say, ‘here the fuck I am, you idiots’.” He sighed when you said nothing. “Mom and Dad called as many relatives as they could. Maybe he’ll turn up somewhere.”

Kankri didn’t reply.

Police searches started after that. Kankri had been acquainted with Pyrope, who was the head on Cronus’ case.

“I’m not promising anything, since he hasn’t turned up and it’s been a week since. But I’ll try.”

He didn’t thank her.

The police search stopped after a few weeks. They just stopped trying. Pyrope sent over a set of flowers from the police station in condolences.

_Kankri,_

_We’re very sorry about Cronus. The police have done all they can, but it seems like this is a hopeless case. We’ll keep the ad in the paper, on us. We’ll put a few signs around town. Maybe something good will happen. Other than that, we are sorry._

_-T. Pyrope_

Kankri left the flowers out to die.

*

It’s been months, nearly a year since Cronus had gone missing. People deemed it a ‘dead case.’ Cronus’ parents gave up after three months and Eridan gave up after five.

“It’s useless. He’s gone, Kan.”

Kankri yelled at him. _Don’t call me that. Only he can call me that._

Kankri didn’t give up. He still put up signs around the town and even in neighboring towns. The police station stopped paying for the missing person’s ad months ago, but Kankri never gave up. Pyrope tried to convince him that it would do no good, and that Cronus was most likely never going to come back.

Kankri had kicked her off of his property.

He always slept in Cronus’ room, after the case went up. The smell of him relaxed Kankri, and it was like he never left, that Cronus was there with him, carding his fingers through his hair and humming a stupid song he wrote just for Kankri. It was like it was before everything went to shit.

Karkat would sometimes come over and not say a thing to him, but let Kankri cry into his shoulder. That was months ago. After Karkat had yelled at him to get over it and Kankri screamed at him to leave and not come back, he didn’t hear from Karkat again. His parents kept him informed on him, though.

Kankri would make an extra pot of coffee on accident sometimes, forgetting that Cronus was gone. Then he’d turn off the coffee maker and let the coffee go cold while he cried.

When Cronus’ parents came over with boxes to collect Cronus’ stuff, Kankri had yelled that them. _Why are you all acting like he’s dead! He’s not dead! He’s going to be back soon, I can feel it! Why are you all giving up so quickly? You’re his goddamn family! Why are you losing hope?_

Cronus’ mother had said with tear filled eyes, “Kankri, we lost hope months ago. We moved on. It’s been a year, sweetheart. You should too.”

Kankri refused to let them in and didn’t talk to them either.

Taking anything of Cronus’ out of his room just felt wrong. Like if Kankri did, he would be taking away a piece of Cronus out of the house. Like if he did, Cronus would find out and throw a shitfit. Like Cronus would find out and get mad and leave again.

The thought of anything of Cronus leaving scared Kankri.

_Because things that leave, they never come back._

On the anniversary of Cronus’ disappearance, Kankri watched _Grease_. It was… is Cronus’ favorite movie. He cried through the whole thing.

*

Kankri stopped crying when they found Cronus’ body at the bottom of a lake, just outside of town.

He didn’t go to Cronus’ funeral and didn’t visit the Ampora family. In fact, he cut all ties with them. He went around town and tore all the missing person signs down from where they were. He received another flower bouquet from Pyrope.

But this time, he planted them in front the house.

He called Eridan a month after Cronus was deemed dead. Eridan came over, and they packed Cronus’ things in boxes. It took them all day, and no words were shared between them.

After Eridan left with the boxes, all that was left in Cronus’ room was a framed picture of him and Kankri at Disneyland and his old pillow that still faintly smelled like him.

Kankri smiled at the picture that hung on the wall.

“Life was simpler then, wasn’t it Cronus?”

That night, Kankri didn’t go to sleep. Instead, he stayed up, watched _Grease_ , and held onto the pillow that so faintly reminded him of better days.

And Kankri knew that things would be better, they would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also posted at:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	20. breaking down and realizing the truth about yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am just going to say this first, so don’t say I didn’t try to warn you:  
> THERE IS VERY DESCRIPTIVE GORE AND SUICIDE IN THIS FIC. IF BLOOD MAKES YOU QUEASY, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS. I WAS CRINGING WHILE WRITING THIS.

The slam of the bathroom door rattled the walls of the hive. Purple streaks ran down Cronus’ face as the tears fell from his eyes. His mind was racing a mile a minute and he paced the bathroom quickly, his legs like gel. Horrendous words flew through his mind and he breathed deeply. _In and out, in and out, in and out_.

He looked in the mirror, purple eyes sunken in. The bags under his eyes made him look like a corpse and the purple flush to his cheeks was gone, only a corpse-gray-almost-white color. His hair was greasy, and not from the product that he would usually put in his hair. He forgot to that day. The reflection in the mirror morphed into a flawless image of himself. It grinned manically, teeth as sharp as knifes. It’s eyes screamed insanity and its voice laced into Cronus’ brain, filling his mind with his own, melodic voice. The words cut his heart like pieces of glass.

 _Everyone hates you._ Shut up! _They don’t care._ I hate you! Stop! _No one cares about you; you’re a pathetic excuse for a troll. Let alone a seadweller._ Shut the fuck up! _How are you in relation to Orphaner Dualscar? You’re pathetic._ Stop! Please! _No one could ever love you._ Stop! _Not even your own matesprit loves you._

“Shut up!” he screamed as his fist went flying toward his reflection. Mirror shards flew everywhere, some cutting his skin. He didn’t flinch. He glared at the now broken mirror, his breath coming out in short rasps. He gripped the counter tightly; his knuckles were turning a pale gray. He was shaking, and it felt like everything was closing in on him.

“I can’t do this,” he whispered. “I can’t do this.” He flung himself back from the counter and hit the wall. Glass pieces dug into his feet, but he didn’t feel a thing. He just hit the wall with his head. The walls shook again and Cronus balled his hands into fists; his fingernails dug into his skin and tore it. Purple blood trickled down his hand and onto the floor.

_No one. No one loves you. No one ever will._

“Stop,” Cronus choked out. “Please. Don’t do this to me.”

His own conscience betrayed him. It whispered to him, deadly thoughts. Thoughts that could kill. That _wanted_ him to die. Thought that, inevitably, would be his own downfall.

_Not even your matesprit loves you._

“He loves me,” he croaked. “I know it.”

_Are you so sure? Has he told you yet? Has he said the magic ‘L’ word. Hm, Cronus? Is it true? Or are you just trying to make up a sad excuse to prove to yourself that you aren’t a pathetic, whiny little bitch?_

“Shut up.”

_Why do you even bother living? People don’t like you, so what’s the point in even trying. It would be better for you and everyone else if you just died._

“Shut up.” A broken whisper.

_Do it, Cronus. Do it for you. Do it for Kankri. Do it for everyone._

“No. Please.”

_Kill yourself._

Cronus screamed and fell to the floor, a sobbing, gasping mess. He yelled out profanities, cursing himself into oblivion. _Fuck you! I can’t fucking stand you. You make me want to die! Why can you just leave me alone you piece of shit!_

_I’ll leave you alone if you die._

Cronus stopped screaming and just breathed short puffs of air.

_In fact, I’ll be gone for good. You won’t have to worry about anything that may hurt you in life. You can be at peace. You won’t have to worry about me hurting you ever again._

Cronus looked at a sharp piece of glass, his maniacal reflection staring at him, grinning. “If I kill myself, you’ll go away?” he whispered, tears streaming from his eyes.

Cronus’ reflection nodded, and Cronus nodded with it. “Okay… Okay.” Cronus picked up the piece of glass from the floor. “Okay.” He walked to the ridiculously large tub and turned on the water, spine tingling cold. “I’ll do it.” He took off his shirt and threw it to the floor. “I’ll do it…”

_Good._

Cronus looked down into his reflection in the mirror. His reflection smiled. _Come on, Cronus. Do it._ Cronus squeezed his eyes shut, ground his teeth together and sunk the piece of glass into his left side gills.

The scream he gave could have shattered glass, if the mirror wasn’t broken. His abdomen felt like it was on fire, and his gills burnt terribly. Cronus bit his tongue, and blood flowed from it. Tears pricked his eyes and traveled down his face.

_You’ll have to do better than that._

Cronus twisted the glass sharply, shredding his gills. Royal blood trickled down his legs and made a puddle on the floor. Cronus breathed heavily, pain flaring throughout his body. He took a gulp and quickly pulled out the glass shard. He gasped loudly as the glass scratched the inside of his gills. Cronus quickly grabbed the red towel (Kankri’s) off the towel rack and bit into it. He took another deep breath and positioned the blade so it was just above his gills. Then he slowly brought the blade down and carved a line, going straight down through all three of his gills.

Cronus screamed into the towel. He bit down hard, tearing into the fabric of the cushion. He breathed through his nose and sobbed. The pain was overwhelming and his blood loss was becoming too great.

_You better speed this up, sugar. Kankri will be home in a matter a time._

Cronus sobbed again. He tore another two lines down his gills, each identical to the first, and each one more excruciatingly painful. Cronus’ muffled screams became louder, and he gripped the edge of the tub as he collapsed to his knees.

_Time for the right side. Come on, you goddamn pussy. This time, why don’t you carve your sign into those precious gills of yours? That’ll show everyone how much of a pathetic little bitch you are._

Cronus shakily brought the bloodied shard to his right side. He squeezed his eyes shut and stuck the blade into his gills and brought it down slowly. With each second the glass was in his gills, the pain grew exceptionally worse. Cronus’ hands were stained purple and the side of the tub was painted horrifically. Cronus brought the blade back up, completing the first V of his sign. He screamed into the towel, his entire body shaking madly.

He continued to carve his sign into his gills, blood staining everywhere it could, and tarnishing everything it touched. Cronus sobbed as he finished carving the last curve of the Aquarius symbol into the side of his body. The intense burning didn’t go away, and it nearly killed Cronus to drag the blade out from his gills. He tossed the purple glass away, and it landed with a _cla-thunk_ ping on the other side of the bathroom.

Cronus’ blood pusher beat quickly, and his breathing was rapid. He looked up at the tub, which was overflowed, causing a small puddle of water to form on the floor. Cronus shakily turned off the water, pain shooting up his arm. He looked down at the water and barely saw his reflection staring at him. It wasn’t the demonic one. It was him, his own weak and pathetic self staring back at him. He smiled slowly, teeth barely showing, and he smiled back.

Cronus began to lift an arm, but an intense pain shot up through it. He hissed and retreated it back. It hurt just to move. How was he supposed to lift himself into the tub?

_Get moving! Kankri is due home in less than twenty minutes!_

Cronus bit his lip harshly, and quickly, like ripping off a band aid, stood up shakily. He wanted to scream, to cry. It hurt so much. He choked in a sob and shuffled toward the tub, but slipped from the blood-mixed water and fell into the tub, smacking his head against the wall of it. His body was engulfed in water and his cuts stung painfully. Cronus breathed in and out, but only received lungs full of water. His gills were useless to them; they were torn to pieces.

His head throbbed from the smack against the wall, and he could see black spots forming in his vision. His sight grew hazy and his eyes shut on their own accord.

_I’m proud of you, Cronus. You did as I asked._

_You’ve helped a lot of people._

_See you on the other side._

*

Kankri opened the door to his hive, tired and worn out. It was hard, being a lowblooded attorney. No one wanted to listen to what you had to say. He sighed and tugged at the tie around his neck and took it off, throwing it god knows where.

“Cronus?” he called out, knowing that his matesprit was most likely in their respite block, doing whatever on the husktop. When he received no answer, Kankri raised a curious eyebrow and headed for their block. “Cronus?” He pushed open the door, but there was no sign of him.

Kankri turned around, but stopped short when he stepped into a pool of water. He looked up toward the bathroom door and took a cautious step forward. “Cronus?” he called again. “Are you in the bathroom?” He took another step forward.

 _Maybe he fell asleep while taking a bath and forgot to turn off the faucet?_ Kankri headed for the door to the bathroom. “Cronus, I’m going to come in now,” he said. Kankri looked at the handle like he didn’t know what to do with it, and slowly took it in his hands and turned the knob. He pushed open the door, and nearly screamed, if it weren’t for his own hand covering his mouth.

“Oh my god,” he whispered. “Cronus, what did you do?”

Kankri shakily walked into the bathroom, his shoe-covered feet crunching the glass covering the floor. He gasped lightly when he saw the blood-covered shard, sitting casually on the floor. Kankri’s feet made ripples in the small pool underneath him.

He nearly jerked away when he saw the tub.

It looked like someone painted the whole thing royal purple. It stained the side of the tub and the inside. The wall was ruined and the water inside of it was flushed a deep purple. Kankri shakily bent down on his knees and looked down into the water. He took in a deep breath and didn’t bother to stop the crimson tears from prickling out.

“Oh, Cronus,” he brokenly whispered. “Why… Why would you…” He bit his lip and reached down into the water, not caring if his long sleeved shirt got wet. He pulled the plug from the drain and watched the sickeningly purple water wash down.

When all that was left was Cronus, Kankri bit his lip to keep in a sob. He failed to do so, and a broken cry came out from his throat. He reached down a hand and smoothed back Cronus’ hair, the way he would want it to be.

“I’m so sorry,” Kankri whispered, as his calm demeanor shattered. “I love you so much, Cronus. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also posted at:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	21. Congratulations, You're In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a bit of nsfw in here

You met him on a social justice forum, no less. His username was celibatehashtags, which you thought was the stupidest thing ever. A course, yours was just basic dannyzuko, which people have questioned you about, and some have even outright yelled at you about it. Most of those were the hardcore “I’m-so-for-the-people-of-the-nation” types that you could paint a wall red and they’d talk about color discrimination against the primary vs. secondary debacle. He was one of those types, actually. True, he may not have been over the top “insult them, insult me” person, but he was one of those most hated users in the forum.

You still remember your first conversation with him, like it’s burned into the back of your brain. (Actually, it’s saved to your flash and mac; you took a multitude of screencaps of the whole conversation. You didn’t realize back then that they would be put to your personal needs.)

_\--celibatehastag responded to the forum LETS_TALK_ABOUT_KINKS at 16:43, EST--_

_ch: As much as it entertains me to scan your pages and pages worth of comedic reading material (because, with all due respect to the persons, this is--pardon my language--bullcrap). Honestly, this would be one of those Sunday evening readings that would have me rolling on the floor, crying from the stomach pain because of your sheer idiocy to not understand the complacency that you have put forth in your own kink-shaming. I am honestly disappointed. #LaughOutLoud, #Kink shaming, #You are idiots_

_\--waterbitch responded to the forum LETS_TALK_ABOUT_KINKS at 15:53, CNTRL--_

_wb: stfu no one cares_

_ch: Excuse me?_

_wb: you decided to put up this bullshit about your sunday morning reads instead of actually adding on to the forum you ass. why dont you just go back into your little whiny ass batcave or wherever beaches like you like to reside._

_wb: not that i care about this shit but you just bother me._

_wb: ihu_

_ch: Are you serious? I was going to offer my opinion and was actually in the middle of writing it before you decided to pop in, whoever you are, and criticize my opinion. And opinion that was--in fact--incomplete. You should have taken the actual time to look over what the others said before you complain about me and my opinions. Because honestly, theirs are much worse. They believe that bondage isn’t alright, and it is downright degrading, even if the second party is getting as much of a kick out of it as the dominant sexual partner. Not only that, but they think lolita and thigh-highs should only be for women and that if men wear it, it is an unspoken disgrace to female/feminist culture. Pathetic, really, that they would think that._

_\--dannyzuko responded to the forum LETS_TALK_ABOUT_KINKS at 14:12, PACF--_

_dz: I think you scared her away_

_ch: I wonder how. Now what do you need? Are you another idiotic, brainless soul-sucker that takes pride in kink shaming?_

_dz: Whoa there easy tiger. I just happened upon all of this. Not really meanin to be here but. Yeah. I dont disagree with you at all. Read all of those bullshitters opinions. Kinda sad that they think those things are wrong. I happen to like my men cherry coated and in a garter belt. Sexy._

_ch: I see._

_dz: Foodplays great too i dont know what theyre thinking._

_ch: But it could also result in a multitude of triggers. Actually, all of these could. But I’m assuming that it’s alright as long as the dominant party warns the other(s?) of the possible triggers and kinks that will be used during intercourse?_

_dz: Obviously. Why would you not warn someone about what could scar them i mean some on are these people stupid?_

_ch: You aren’t that bad, compared to the rest, dannyzuko. Would you like to take this somewhere a little more private?_

_dz: Thought youd never ask._

After that, it was mostly a private forum between you and him. And by private forum, you mean that was the first time and his first time sexting. It was a pleasurable experience and it was only for experimentation of kinks. A course, you’re not sure about him, but you had the best orgasm of your life during that sext. It was also the worst sext in the history of sexts.

_ch: I lick and bite up your stomach, tasting you and taking in every flavor of the raspberry and chocolate syrup on your body. Once I get to your neck, I lean up so my ass is sitting on your crotch. I can feel your boner against it and I moan as I lick the whipped cream off your nipples and suck them until they are harder than rocks._

_dz: jesusfu ck_

*

You two decided to tie the knot as the worst boyfriends in the history of boyfriends a few weeks after testing kink shames through sexting. Of course, it was a miserable five weeks of falling for his sorry ass. To him, it was just an experiment of different kinks and sexting, but to you, it was the most intimate thing. After the third week, you concluded to yourself that you were, in fact, falling for this douchebag that you met online.

You didn’t know what he looked like at all until the fourth week in, when he actually sent you’re a picture of himself and _god you just wanted to eat him up_. He wasn’t muscle defined at all. In fact, he was a bit pudgy, which you thought was quite endearing. He was brown, which you said nothing about, knowing that if you did, you’d be admonished over his race and racism. Had had a light dusting of freckles and tangled brown hair and his eyes were such a dark brown and _shit_.

You gasped as you pictured him, doing exactly what he would say he would do to you. You imagined him tying you to your bed and stripping you ever so slowly, his fingers popping every button of your plaid shirt. And his fingers would dust down your chest and he’d get to the hem of your pants and _yank_ them down. Then he’d lick his lips and taste your chest. His tongue would run up your stomach and bite at a nipple and lick you ‘till you’re a panting, gasping mess of lust. Then he’d grab your boxers and slowly slide them off, smirking as your erection showed ever so slightly.

Your forehead was beaded with sweat and you continued to pump yourself, biting your lip and imagining him. _Him_ , Kankri Vantas, doing this to you. You whine softly as you thought about him licking up your erection teasingly, not letting you fully in yet. Then he’d smirk and make you beg. _Say please_. And you’d do it. You’d beg like you were begging for life, and he was the giver.  Then your back would arch as his lips would fully be around your dick and he’d be so _warm_ and you’d be babbling. _Fuck you’re perfect. Yes, yes, YES. More. Please, fuck, Kankri. I need more of you._ You’d tangle your hands his hair and tug at it and he’d _slap_ your thigh and _oh. Oh god._ Oh. God.

You came with a loud moan and fell against your computer chair. Your head was spinning and everything was hazy. It wasn’t until you saw his red text flash that you realized you automatically left Kankri to jack off to him. He was asking if you were all right and if he needed to call the police.

_dz: No i was just trying to find a good picture i could send you._

You ended up sending him one where you were standing next to your Baby, your precious 1970’s Chevy, with your hair all slicked back like so and your sunglasses glinting in the sun. You were smiling like there wasn’t a car in the world.

He didn’t reply for several minutes and actually went offline.

You briefly wondered if he was picturing you, in the same position, with him fucking you senseless. You wondered if he had his hand down his pants, moaning your name like you were actually there.

You silently saved the picture of him onto your computer thanked whoever that you didn’t have to masturbate to walls of red texts anymore.

*

He was actually the one to initiate the relationship. It was after one of your many sexts and you had an amazing orgasm. He had messaged you right after that.

_ch: Now, Cronus, I know this has been going on for quite some time now and we have explored many different areas of sexual activities through the internet. As much as I enjoy doing it and it is a pleasure to get to experience different kinks, my mind won’t stop nagging at me that there’s something missing. I never knew what was missing, really, beforehand. But after today, I think I finally figured it out. It’s the sensation of just *knowing* that you can keep doing it and it won’t be weird or platonic._

_dz: Kan are you_

_ch: Yes, I am asking to be in a non-platonic, long-distance relationship with you. What is your answer? I won’t judge you if you say no._

_dz: Holy shit yes!!!!!!!! <333_

_ch: <3_

_*_

You met him in person after six months of “dating.” It was summertime and he just got out for break, whereas you were already out days ago. He told you that needed to see you in person because he hated being so far from you. When you gave him permission to sleep in the guest room in your apartment, he immediately bought plane tickets for the next morning’s flight. He told you that you’d have to wake up at hell o’ clock in the morning to pick him up.

You didn’t even fucking care.

When you got to the airport, there were only a few people there. A mother stood with her two children, waiting eagerly for someone as the passengers came through, along with an elderly man and a woman around your age.

You could barely see him due to the amount of people coming through the doors, but you saw the brown patch of hair and dark skin and knew that it was him. And the way he smiled, ran toward you, and jumped into your arms, told you that he was happy to see you too.

“Finally,” you whispered.

He hummed back happily.

When you retrieved his suitcase and walked out, hand in hand, you told him that there was no way that he was going to be sleeping in the guest room and that you two were going to sleep in the same bed whether he liked it or not.

He just smiled.

*

During his stay, you fucked him 3 times (on the bed, in the shower, and on the kitchen table) and he fucked you five times (on the bed, in the shower twice, on the couch in your living room, and in your car, after you picked him up from the airport. You were a wriggling, panting mess underneath him while you both tested the kinks you had so fondly dreamed about him doing to you and he was a moaning mess as you sucked his cock in the shower, with his hands tangled in your hair and his knees braced against your shoulders.

Sometimes, you wouldn’t have sex, but would just give each other a good blow job and make each other moan and whine and plead for mercy.

It was the best fucking summer you’d ever had and when it was time for him to go and you dropped him off at the airport, you didn’t hesitate to fling your arms around his shoulders and kiss him in front of everyone. He wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed you back, smiling sadly.

You’d be lying if you say you didn’t cry watching him go.

*

Your relationship grew after that. You’d still continue to sext each other, testing new waters and trying out different kinks that would have you rolling your eyes in the back of your head, arching your back, and moaning his name like he was God.

Sometimes, in the sweeter moments, Kankri would stop from his rambling on Skype and simply state that he misses you and then type ‘<3’. Just as a reminder. And you’d type one back, smiling and blushing like a schoolgirl with her first crush.

Your liking for him grew and grew until you realized _fuck. I’m in love._

You didn’t tell him at first, in fear that he’d dump you because he didn’t feel the same way. But in the middle of him video chatting with you, you interrupted him and said, “You know I love you, right? Like. ‘I-want-you-so-much-please-don’t-ever-leave-me’ kinda love.”

He’d given you a wide-eyed glance and blinked. “What?”

“I’m in love you.”

Your heart grew three sizes when he said it back.

*

You asked him to marry you when he visited again. You had never been as nervous as you were then and you were sweating something awful. It was New Year’s Eve and you could feel the velvet box in your pocket. It felt like it weighed tons. You constantly patted it to make sure that _yes,_ it was still there.

You were both watching the New Year’s celebration in New York, on your shitty little television. Kankri was complaining about how the popcorn tasted stale when the countdown began to start. People were shouting in the television, and you could hear your neighbors chanting as well.

With every second that ticked by, you thought about the past year.

 _10!_ You thought about the first time you talked to Kankri and how ridiculous you thought he was. When, in fact, he became one of the most important people in your life.

 _9!_ You thought about your first sext with him and how bloody awful it was. You laugh breathlessly when you think about it.

 _8!_ You thought about talking to Kankri via voice chat for the first time. It was awkward because you felt like you were going to melt when you heard his voice. You were already hopelessly done for by then.

 _7!_ You thought about when Kankri asked you to be his, and how awful he was at it. And how your heart pounded painfully because of how ecstatic you were over it.

 _6!_ You thought about the first time you video chat with him, and how he told you about his family and his life all night and ended up falling asleep in the middle of it. You smiled fondly.

 _5!_ You thought about how he visited you for the first time, and the way his arms felt around your wait, pulling you in for his first kiss.

 _4!_ You thought about your first time together, how wonderful, euphoric, and lustful it was. And how beautiful he looked afterward, with his face glowing and a smile on his face.

 _3!_ You thought about when he said “I love you” without you saying it first. You were chatting online when he just stopped in the middle of his speech to tell you. You wanted to kiss him all over then.

 _2!_ You thought about when you picked him up from the airport that day and how the kiss you stole from him felt like the first.

 _1!_ You thought about right then, with Kankri wrapped up in your arms and his lips on yours. You thought about the future that you had all planned the how much love you felt for him.

 _Happy New Year!_ the people shouted on the screen, at the same time you whispered those two words. “Marry me.”

Kankri’s eyes widened and he blushed. “What?”

You pocketed the box from your jeans and opened it. “Be my wife, you ass. I love you and I want to be with you forever so we can live happily ever after.”

Kankri scowled, but nodded all the same, his eyes prickling with tears. “I don’t know why you think this is a good idea, but.” He looked up and smiled at you. “Who else would be able to tolerate you?” He snatched the box and put the ring on himself, showing that he, in fact, did not need your help.

You laughed and brought him closer, connecting your lips with his again, whispering breathlessly the three words that brought you to that moment.

_I love you, I love you, I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also posted at:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


	22. hello, my dear

It was the day of January 4th that Cronus visited his boyfriend.

He had everything ready. A bottle of champagne nestled in a basket, along with a rose, two wine glasses, and a velvet box that was tucked in the small corner of it. He put on his sunglasses and headed out for his car. The basket was tucked neatly in his arms until he set it down on the passenger seat of his car.

Cronus took a moment to look out the snow-bitten windshield before turning on the heater and letting the snow melt away. He reversed his car and headed to where his boyfriend awaited.

When he arrived at the cemetery, Cronus sighed and looked over at the basket. He grabbed it and got out of his car, shutting it quietly.

He opened the gate to the cemetery and headed for the headstone he had memorized the place of. A funeral was being held to his left, and he winced as he heard the muffled sobs of friends and family of the deceased. Rest in peace. He closed his eyes, took a deep sigh, and continued walking.

He finally arrived at the grave toward the far back. He looked down and ran his finger along the cold marble. He squatted down and read the words that burned into his brain for years.

In memory of Kankri Vantas  
Loving friend and son  
June 21 1987—December 4 2007  
Rest in peace.

His index finger traced the ‘K’ in his name and he swallowed down the tears that threatened to pour. He wasn’t going to cry. He’d given up crying, after he realized it was hopeless and the only one who ever loved him was gone.

“Hey, Kan,” Cronus nearly whispered, smiling. “I’m back again. Sorry for only coming once a year.” He chuckled. “Guess today’s the only day that feels right to.

“You remember what today is, right?” He smiled again. “It’s our anniversary; the day I asked you out. Remember that? You were blushing like a damn fool.” He laughed again, but it quickly died away. “We went and saw The Titanic. You didn’t want to admit that you cried at the end, but I knew you were blubbering all the way through.”

Cronus sighed and looked up at the sky. Snow fell onto his frozen cheeks. “It’s funny how two idiots like use coulda ever found love, isn’t it? I mean, people thought we were being dumb kids looking for a one nighter or something.” He smiled. “Guess that didn’t work out, considering I fell in love.”

He looked over at the basket and brought out the champagne and two glasses. “This woulda been our fourteenth anniversary.” He popped open the bottle and poured the liquid into the two glasses. He set one of the glasses on the snowy grass and drank the other one in one sitting. He looked down into the empty glass. “’S funny isn’t it? We always talked about moving away from our families and just living together, somewhere where no one could find us.” A chuckle. “Guess that never really happened, eh?”

Cronus looked over at the basket. “Guess now is a good enough time to do it.” He felt around for the box. When he felt it, he curled it in the palm of his hand and sighed. He brought it out and hid it from view, as if Kankri was there with him, looking with curiosity.

“I was gonna ask you today. Well, on our anniversary, before you. Um. Yeah.” Cronus bit his lip, tears stinging his eyes. He took a deep breath. “I’ve been hiding this away, in a sock drawer.” He frowned. “I just couldn’t bring myself to even think about it.” Slowly he opened his hand to reveal the box to no one. “But I think I’ve waiting long enough.” He opened the box and a diamond ring appeared. It was nothing fancy, just a small golden band with a diamond stuck in the middle.

“I wanted to ask you to marry me. I bought the ring in early December and planned out what I was going to do.” He laughed. “I also wanted to spend as much time with you as I could before I asked, in case you rejected me. But. I knew you would probably say yes.”

He popped the ring out of the slit and slid it on his own left index finger. “I’m tired of being scared of moving on. So.” He looked at the tombstone and smiled sadly, a tear landing on the grass beneath him. “This will be the last time I visit. At least for a long time.”

Cronus bent over and set the flowers on the grass and picked up the full glass of champagne. He poured it over the grass and set it in the basket, along with the other. Then he leaned over and kissed the tombstone.

“Goodbye,” he whispered.

Cronus walked off, not blinking once, feeling for once in six years, truly and finally happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also posted at:  
> kankrioh.tumblr.com


	23. show me ur teeth

He was late.

You looked at the two-minute fast clock in the hall and stare at it. He said he’d be home by two-in-the-morning. Two. Not two minutes late. Two minutes. It was two-o-three. He must be dead, because Kankri Vantas is never _ever_ late.

You paced around for a bit, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. It was Friday night, feeding night. Kankri’d left, despite you telling him that he could feast on you that night. But he’d just said,

“I’m not going to kill you.”

You didn’t understand. You’ve tried and tried to get him to feast on your blood instead of hunting for his food. Hunting is dangerous. Many rainbow drinkers have been killed by other trolls on hunting trips. You remember Kankri telling you about how Porrim once barely made it out alive from a pack of bluebloods. Her little sister was killed by a tealblood during a hunt and her mother was killed by your own father, after he tortured and grilled her for answers about other rainbow drinkers in the area, that is.

Maybe that’s why Porrim’d never be fond of you.

You were just about ready to put on your coat and shoes when Kankri came through the door, his mouth formed into a twisted frown. He peeled his coat off his body and threw it across the couch. You could tell from your distance that his eyes are a bright, nearly glowing red, which means he’s hungry. Which, in turn, means he did not feed.

So, you took his jacket and hung it on the coat rack. “So I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and say tonight was a bust?” You stupidly asked.

He glared at you like he wanted to rip your throat out, but he just sighed and sat in his favorite armchair. “Nearly got a brownblood, but some cerulean girl threatened me with a pocketknife and called the police.” He looked up at you and frowned. “I left quick enough before the cops could arrive, but,” he glanced at the clock, “I still need to eat. I could probably wait another night, but I have to get some blood soon.”

You bit your lip and looked over Kankri’s features. He was a pale gray, nearly white, and he looked drained. Almost like a corpse. Everything about him looked so sincerely _dead_ , aside from his eyes.

You straightened up your stance and lifted up your head. Silently, you walked up to him and took off your shirt. He didn’t say a word; he just stared at you blankly.

You sat in his lap cautiously and he stiffened at that. You angled your neck so it was in his reach. When he didn’t do anything for the next few minutes, you glared at him. “C’mon, Kan.”

“Cronus—”

“Drink me.” You gave him a pathetic look and leaned in until your noses were just barely touching. “Please.” You closed your eyes and leaned your head to the side. “Drink my blood.”

His intake of breath went unnoticed and you could feel his breath getting gradually closer to your neck and then you felt his press his lips to it.

But he didn’t bite. He just whispered, “No. I can’t.”

“Goddammit, Kan!” You shoved him back and glared at him. “Why won’t you just drink me fuckin’ blood? It’ll do ya a boatload a good. Hell, considerin’ a my caste, you won’t have ta worry ‘bout feeding for at least two weeks instead a one.” He didn’t reply to you, and you continued to glare. “Why are you completely okay with picking off random strangers, but not me? Why not _me_?”

You thought for a horrified second that he was going to yell at you, but he just blankly stared at you again and croaked out, “I don’t know if I’ll be able to hold myself together.”

Oh.

“I don’t want to kill you.” He looked up at the ceiling. “I don’t want you to risk yourself because of me.”

You closed your eyes and pursed your lips. You took a deep breath and opened them up again. “I won’t let you hurt me. I promise.” You leaned in again and shifted closer, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “Do it. I’ll be alright. Just. Please. Bite me.”

The scene was so Troll Twilight that it was horrible. But couldn’t seem to care as Kankri breathed out deeply and wrapped his arms around your middle and pulled you against him. You rested your chin against his shoulder so it was comfortable but just in the right position for Kankri to suck.

His lips were on your neck and your grip on his tightened when you felt his sharp canines sink into your flesh painfully.

You wanted to scream, to cry. It was so painful, like someone was pumping fire into your body and you wanted to die because of the pain. But despite that, it felt completely and utterly wonderful. It felt wonderful knowing that Kankri was the one taking your blood, and not some random stranger. That he’s doing this for he’s doing this for _you_ , because you wanted him to.

You could feel your royal blood trickle down your neck and chest and you moaned at the feeling of Kankri sucking your body dry. You dug your claws so hard into his back that you felt the fabric give into your claws and soon your were digging into flesh.

Kankri hissed but grabbed onto you tighter, still drinking. It felt amazing. Painful. Sensual. It was perfect.

“Kan,” you whispered as you saw black spots fading your vision. “Kan. Kan that’s enough.” He wouldn’t budge, so you shoved him until you’d leaned back far enough and nearly fell off his lap. But Kankri’s arms were there to catch you.

“Oh god I’m so sorry Cronus, I went too far. I knew this would happen oh my god. Are you alright, Cronus? Can you hear me? Cronus?”

You grinned lazily and saluted him. “Never been better, chief.” You looked up as your vision got worse. “Just so you know you can only ever feed on me. Nobody else, okay Kan?”

You heard him laugh, but didn’t hear his answer as you slowly faded out of consciousness.  

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted to my tumblr:  
> http://kankrioh.tumblr.com


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